10. Unlocking Business Success: Humility, Habits & Connection with Chris DiNofia
The lifelong learner. Is personal development really necessary for business? Is there any relation between the 2? In this episode, we speak with Chris Danofia on the topic of personal development and why it's critical for the success of your business.
Eric Beels:Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Business Boost Hour podcast. My name is Eric Beals and I am the vice president of BNI Escondido.
Crystal:And my name is Crystal Privette. I'm the president of BNI Escondido and this is The Single CEU Podcast. And today, we have Chris Sanofia with us. Welcome, Chris. Thanks for joining us.
Chris DiNofia:Thank you so much for having me. I am so grateful to be here. I'm so grateful for the 2 of you taking time out of your busy days to put this together. Very, very kind of you and very much from the heart.
Eric Beels:Nice. Doesn't this guy doesn't this guy have kind of a I think you have a nice podcast voice.
Crystal:Yeah. There you go.
Chris DiNofia:There you go.
Eric Beels:So so soothing, so soft. I love it.
Chris DiNofia:We'll see. We'll see.
Eric Beels:So, today, we you wanted to talk about lifelong learning, or like a forever students.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Eric Beels:And, so but before we get into that Yeah. Tell me a little bit about who you are and and Sure. And what you do. Just tell the audience about what you do and how you got into what what Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:Absolutely. Absolutely. I am in the mortgage business. I've been a mortgage lender for 22, moving on 23 years. Came from the restaurant hospitality business.
Chris DiNofia:Started washing dishes when I was 15. Reached a certain point and decided, that I'd reached the top of that industry as a general manager of a restaurant. And finally, I just said, hey. I'm kinda ready for something else. And, went and got my real estate license, decided that I like doing loans more than the real estate part.
Chris DiNofia:And, really, the rest is is history. It's, it's been a it's been a great run. And as long as I have at least a handful of marbles rolling around upstairs, I plan on staying in the business. Mhmm. Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. Nice. So you have, staying in the business. Yeah. Yeah.
Eric Beels:Nice. So you have a kind of a it sounds like a bit of a wide range in that sense from restaurant to
Chris DiNofia:I really do. Yeah. Yeah. I I always had a pretty strong work ethic as a kid growing up on the East Coast. You wintertime, you shoveled driveways.
Chris DiNofia:You, mowed yards. And then I was, had a paper route, and then I was, you know, washing dishes by the time I was 15 and just always been working. Yeah. So
Crystal:But you're also very humble because you're a great connector in our BNI group. You're always thinking and putting other people first and taking action, and we love having you. You're an asset.
Chris DiNofia:Mhmm.
Crystal:Thank
Chris DiNofia:you. Thank you so much. I I I do believe 2 qualities that you always wanna work on are being humble and hungry. And the humble part, it's it's easy to tell when somebody's humble. They stop and they listen.
Chris DiNofia:Right? And they they and they ask more questions. That's what's being a true lifelong learner and wanting to completely take it in, and that's being humble. You don't really learn anything by talking like I'm doing right now. Mhmm.
Eric Beels:So Well, you know, I think, yeah, let let you know, listening is is, you you know, we have, you know, 2 ears, I think, for a reason where because we should listen twice as much as we speak. Right? And, and, yeah, I mean, that's it's it's it's an important important thing to important it's actually a skill set, I think, you know, to to really,
Crystal:to Active listening.
Eric Beels:Active listening. Yeah.
Crystal:The listening to learn about the other person instead of listening to respond. Sure. Quite often, we get so caught up in wanting to connect with other people that we're, like, wanna tell them how we relate, but they're not really telling you that story to relate to them. Yeah. They want they want to be heard.
Crystal:Yeah. And and I think Julie was on here, and she was telling us how she loves the active listening part of communication Absolutely. Because it's a two way street.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. Yeah. I think it's and and I think it's just human nature that, you know, if Eric was telling me about a trip to the Grand Canyon when he's finished, oh, yeah. I went there too, and I did this. Well, here's just a a thought I have.
Chris DiNofia:Don't do it. Mhmm. As much as you want, don't do it. The next thing is, well, where did you and your family stay? Where did you hike?
Chris DiNofia:You know, leave out about your part. Because they for some reason, I just think it the person who's telling you the story, they feel better about that than you coming back and, you know, and you and I and I get it. You think that you're showing
Eric Beels:It's almost like you're kinda 1 it's almost like you're 1 upping them. You're like, you're you're you're like, oh, I have a better story than what they're telling me right now. Just wait till I show them. And then but they're excited about that, you know, and I I've I've actually gotten a sense like that before too where I that actually crossed my mind. Yeah.
Eric Beels:And now and then I kinda caught myself. And I was like, wait. I don't if I say that I'm gonna downplay, you know, their excitement for their their thing that they experience. Mhmm. And, you know, that was that was moment where I kind of reeled that in.
Eric Beels:But I'm sure there's been plenty of other times where, like, I said something and didn't even realize that I was downplaying, like, what they were saying. And, and then and maybe didn't even, like, recognize it, and someone kinda feels bad. Like, well, I don't wanna talk to that Eric guy.
Crystal:You're trying to be relatable. You're trying to connect, but, ultimately, you're essentially missing the forest for the trees. Mhmm.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. I think you nailed it. You're you're trying to show that you have something in common
Crystal:Mhmm.
Chris DiNofia:But, really, it's kinda burning the forest down.
Crystal:Yeah. That's true.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Crystal:Yeah. Yeah. And it's a great, a lot of personal development is these sides of ourselves that we don't really see. Yeah. It's the facet that maybe we don't really have an awareness on.
Crystal:And then once like you said, once you have an awareness, you're like, maybe I shouldn't respond that way. Maybe I should, like Chris said, ask another question about them instead of making it trying to be more about me. That's kind of, like, actually the end of our, b and I. When we have the I have portion, that's really not supposed to be like, oh, I have 4 testimonials. I have It's
Eric Beels:not it's not supposed to be Yeah. I have this. Look how great I did. No. It's more about praising the other person happy.
Crystal:Exactly. That's their opportunity to show, look, this this person is amazing. This person's amazing, and that, when our chapter does it right, that's where, really, the guests are impressed. I've heard time and time again that they say, oh, well, I heard you guys passing business, and that testimonial portion is almost for the guest as well, the visitors, to see and for us to remind us how much is being passed around.
Eric Beels:Yeah. I think we used to it used to I think for a while, it wasn't even like, we didn't even do testimonials. It was basically, like, you know, I we used to kinda say, like, I have power of 1 and and or something. But, like, saying power of 1, I think and then we kinda got away from that because it was, like, you say power 1, guests are like, what the heck is that? Yeah.
Crystal:Or if
Eric Beels:you're a new member, you're like, what it doesn't it's kind of this meaningless number, really. Like, it doesn't really do you do you know what power of openness? Okay.
Chris DiNofia:I do.
Crystal:I wasn't sure. Wait. Wait. Wait. What is it?
Crystal:Because I I'm curious.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. So power of 1 is that you did 1 one to 1. You had one lead, and you did 1 CEU.
Crystal:Yeah. But that's what people think it is, but isn't it also one visitor?
Eric Beels:I I I think it's technically supposed to be one visitor. I I don't know anyone really because the visitors can be harsh, but I think you're I think you're technically right. Yeah.
Crystal:So a lot of time when people are saying power of 1, I'm like, well, I haven't seen a visitor. So in my brain, I don't think it's even being articulated properly.
Eric Beels:Gotcha. Gotcha. So but we we we switched that to the testimonials, and I thought that's it's such a more powerful thing than than
Chris DiNofia:than than
Eric Beels:than, you know, saying, like, you know, I had one referral. Like, that's great. They had a referral. Yeah. But it's so much more powerful to to say, like, hey.
Eric Beels:I had maybe I had a referral for this person, and they did such an amazing job. Let me explain let me let me explain how great this person was for a few for a few seconds. And that and that goes so far, I think, to honestly help because, like, when I think when you so there's an interesting sub sub like, I think subconscious thing that when you praise somebody else, you like them more now.
Crystal:Yeah.
Eric Beels:Okay? They like you, but I think you like them more when you consciously vocalize that, that I like what this person did or I I I I praise them as long as it's authentic, though. Of course. And and so I think that overall, like, over time is is going to help, just create better and stronger connections with the chapter Sure. Just amongst everybody in in the in the chapter.
Chris DiNofia:Absolutely. I fully agree. I think it's right up there if you say, hey. I love an In N Out Double Double Burger. You just makes you love it even more.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Crystal:I might And, really, everyone should be saying something about everyone else even if you haven't done business with someone. We've we had one to ones together. We know about things about that person that we could, you know, give a testimonial for just a little bit to, you know, maybe that I had a one to one with Chris, in and out.
Chris DiNofia:There you go. There you go.
Eric Beels:It's it's funny. At my my church, once a year, we have, like, like, a, like, a church camping trip. So, like, a lot of church members are able to go to it. And one of the things that we we, make a point is to have a moment during the camping trip, what we call verbal high fives. And, it's I I just realized it's very similar to the testimonials actually that we do in in in b and I.
Chris DiNofia:Gotcha.
Eric Beels:And basically what it is is just like, okay. You made a connection with someone. What what you know, like, and we all get a big group together. There's 50 of us, and then people will say, like, I like, you know, this person. Here's what I love about them.
Eric Beels:And then you just give them Sure. You you you praise them basically.
Chris DiNofia:Sure. That's awesome. I love that.
Eric Beels:And and it's one of the, like, most, like, kind of, you know, powerful moments of our Sure. Of our camping trip because you really kind of hear, like, what how someone maybe helped out unload stuff or whatever. Absolutely anything. And it goes so far for building relationships. So the the testimonial portion is is really important with that that that I think, just building up the the the, what's the word I'm thinking of, The, like like like raising the raising the bar of the the room, I guess.
Eric Beels:Like, the energy of the room. Like, the praise energy, I guess. Sure. Lines.
Chris DiNofia:It it probably has the good chemicals, the serotonin, everything going through. Absolutely. I you know, I really do feel that speaking highly of other people from the heart, listening, they're all different ingredients that go into empathy.
Crystal:Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:And empathy is just a skill that I just try to get better at with all the time at going from 0. I think I'm making my way up somewhere midway up the scale. But it's just so important to really sit and just really think, what is that person thinking right now? In my business, just in life in general, at the grocery store? Right?
Chris DiNofia:Whatever it may be. You know? Really, really tuning into them. And I think empathy is a way to stop thinking of yourself and thinking of other people and putting them first. Mhmm.
Chris DiNofia:Mhmm.
Crystal:And what tips would you have for someone listening to this if they wanted to start to be more empathetic? What has worked for you?
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. Yeah. So, first, I think it's important to know that kinda what you and I were talking about before the show, Crystal, is everybody has grown up different. Everybody does things for their own reasons. Right?
Chris DiNofia:And you never know what somebody is going through.
Crystal:Mhmm.
Eric Beels:Right?
Chris DiNofia:You could be in the gas station going in to get a Pepsi or something. You have no idea what that person behind the cash register went through. And in a way, you need to kind of assume that they're really having a tough day and really kinda sometimes, it's just a matter of saying, how are you doing? Right? Tom Cicabucci from our group, he likes to do that when he talks to people on the phone and just really, really mean it.
Chris DiNofia:How are you doing? Not just a, you know, hey. How's it going? Really, truly ask.
Crystal:Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:And then just listen. Like we said, just listen. And, to show that you have that support. Right? So I think sometimes people don't realize that just being there and listening to them is is what the people need.
Chris DiNofia:Mhmm. Right? Yep. You could be bringing something with you. You could be giving them a gift or whatever, but just showing that you really care is really important.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah.
Eric Beels:And so so, how how has you been more empathetic? How has that helped you in your business? Like, in what ways have you seen that? That?
Chris DiNofia:Absolutely. I think in all our businesses, you have to listen first. Right? And I think it's really important to ask, listen, ask, listen, ask, listen, ask, listen. You just need to keep going back and forth with that because it really just there's there there was a study, and I wish I knew this back when I waited tables, but there was a study that when the waiters and waitresses repeat the order back repeat the order back to the clients.
Chris DiNofia:Their tips go up 20% or or whatever, you know. Mhmm. 5 5% or whatever. And then because it shows that you're listening to them. And when I'm speaking to a client, in a way, you have to mirror them, but you have to respond back that okay.
Chris DiNofia:So you you're looking for a non owner occupied property investment. You would prefer it to be a condo in this area. You wanna keep your monthly payment to this. You're hoping to rent. That that did I hear you correctly?
Chris DiNofia:Did that was that clear? And that just shows that they've been heard.
Eric Beels:Oh, I like that a lot because I so I was just kind of taking myself kind of placing myself at, like, a restaurant, like, at Chili's or something too. Yeah. And I was just kind of picturing, like, okay. What would that I never because I never thought about, like, if if waiters or waitresses I don't even I didn't even, like, catch that if they do that. And I thought about it.
Eric Beels:I was like, oh, yeah. If they if they just kinda, like, wrote it down, and and, like, I told them told I told them my order and then they sort of and then just walked away. Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:I'd be
Eric Beels:like, did they get it right? Yeah. And then I'd be kinda concerned now.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Eric Beels:And I could see that subconsciously, like, later on be like, oh, that they were okay. And I I lowered my and then I I lowered my
Crystal:He's talking about houses.
Eric Beels:No. I know. I know.
Crystal:No. I know. You step it up a notch.
Eric Beels:No. I know. Right. Right.
Chris DiNofia:But but soon as Eric's meal arrives, he's sitting there with a fork and knife. Did they put the beans in there like I told him not to?
Eric Beels:No. But I I think the same the same thing applies. I think it's a, like, a
Crystal:relay level. Yeah. I think
Eric Beels:it's a a relatable way to to kind of, like like, perceive that from the the the customer's end. Sure. Right? Because we might be we might go, okay. Nope.
Eric Beels:Like, yep. I got it. Great. That's fantastic. Yeah.
Eric Beels:And then but then not repeating back, they go,
Chris DiNofia:did they get did they
Eric Beels:do they really get it? Should they really understand what my concern is or my problem is or whatever?
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Eric Beels:That's something yeah. I'm gonna definitely yeah. I'm gonna be more conscious of that. I don't know if I I don't know if I do that. I'm not really sure if I really pay attention if I'm if I repeat.
Eric Beels:And then someone's asking me what they want for, like, what they're hoping to achieve on a podcast. I don't know if I repeat that thing. I think I'm I maybe normally just go, okay. You know, that that that that could that I may just agree with them and not necessarily, like, repeat
Chris DiNofia:it. Sure.
Eric Beels:So I might I'm gonna definitely I think I'll see.
Chris DiNofia:You probably also have other great ways of showing that you care. Right? Mhmm. We all know that the the line no one knows cares what you know until they know how much you care, and I think that's just a way of showing that you do
Crystal:care. Obviously. I mean, even now, you're trying to, like, give him an alley oop. You're like, okay. It's okay, buddy.
Crystal:Here.
Chris DiNofia:Well, I know Eric's such a nice guy. I mean, he's here right here right now.
Crystal:But that what you're talking what he's talking it's actually a sales technique as well to to regurgitate or reiterate or mirror Yeah. What they're saying so that they it's a level of comfortability.
Chris DiNofia:Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:So But like
Crystal:you said, these are all skills that you're developing. Your personal development has taken you to really great places. It's
Chris DiNofia:you know, it's I was when when I got into the business, I've always been I've always been pretty good at not to beat my chest or anything, but I've always been pretty good at what I did. But, once I started to work on me, then everything just rose. You know, once I went to work on me, and I'll tell you just a quick little story. Back in June of 2013, I went to a 6 week conference, one day per week for 6 7 weeks. And then there was all kinds of homework in between.
Chris DiNofia:And on the first day, the gentleman asked he said, on a scale of 1 to 10, what would you say your level of optimism is? And he just meant life in general. And I thought about it. I really, really thought about it. And I said, you know, I I come from a very sarcastic family.
Chris DiNofia:And 5 kids, and the parents are more sarcastic than we are. And and and that there can that can kinda lean to the negative side. And then just a lot of different jokes, things of that, and I started thinking about it. I just started thinking in general. I was like, you know, Chris, I'm you're probably about a sex, and I just was disgusted with myself.
Chris DiNofia:I said, wow. That is just horrible. And I'm in this
Eric Beels:He said you're you're I said that twice about that.
Chris DiNofia:I said to myself. He was asking us all to gauge it. And I thought to myself, okay. I I'm feeling really good right now. I'm feeling really positive.
Chris DiNofia:I'm really feeling really motivated. But I've been in these seminars before and I know what happens. You leave. You have the notes. Next thing you know, the notes are in the bathroom.
Chris DiNofia:The next thing then, you know, you can't find them. And it rinses off. Well, I don't want that to happen. So how do I keep this from happening? Well, if I constantly indulge myself and just constantly have audio coming through the coming in, reading, listening, hanging out with the right people.
Chris DiNofia:You know, I think I can keep that I can keep this going. And I am lucky. I am blessed to have an hour commute each way to work. And I say blessed because, our good old friend Zig Ziglar used to say, you need to turn your car into Automobile University. Every time you get in, there should be something that is working with you.
Chris DiNofia:And so for since 2013, I just constantly on my commute, sometimes an hour there, an hour back, I am constantly putting I between that and reading, without exaggeration, probably 600 nonfiction books, you know, something of that nature in the last since 2013. So I'm just constantly putting it in there, constantly going over, you know, where do I need where do I need improvement. Right? Is it is it my marriage. Right?
Chris DiNofia:Five love languages. Right? Is it, is it maybe it's my my job. And now, I have a breakdown where I start off every day. I'm I'm in the bible when I wake up.
Chris DiNofia:So right away, the coffee, and I have my Bible open. Then after that, I, put the headphones on, and it's personal growth. Lately, I've been on another stoicism kick. I love stoicism. I love Ryan Holiday.
Chris DiNofia:Great book. I'll just throw out there. Ego is the Enemy, one of my favorite books. Listening now for the 3rd time. And so I go through that.
Chris DiNofia:Then I get in the car, and it's all about my job. So it's what's going on in the market. What different loan guidelines are out there? Maybe it's a coaching call I'm on. It's one of those things.
Chris DiNofia:And then, of course, all day at work, I'm just I'm inundated with educational moments, right, that I may be giving or hearing. And then on the way home, it's a little more relaxed. It's gonna usually be US history or theology, and then I finish the day with the bible again, You know? And and doing that for so many years, once I went to work on me, one of my favorite authors is Jim Rohn, the old speaker who passed away in 2009, unfortunately. But he said, you know, it's not the making of the $1,000,000 that's important.
Chris DiNofia:It's what you had to become to be able to do that. Right? So many people just use lottery winners, for example. They get the money, it's gone. Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. Because they they don't have the ability to hold on to that. Whereas, you'll have somebody who makes a $1,000,000 then they make 2,000,000 and their net worth is this because they've learned the ability to do that. And, I just think, you know, lifelong learning is so important. It's just you just always need to be a student.
Chris DiNofia:I mean, and there's just so many interesting things out there, and you can pick up, go to the library on a subject you know absolutely nothing about Roman history
Crystal:Yep.
Chris DiNofia:And just delve into it, you know, and and and there's just so much out there.
Eric Beels:Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:So You
Eric Beels:know, I actually, you can actually look this, online. There's a lot of stories on people who, like, won the lottery and, like, kinda like what happened to them afterwards. It's like, oh, they must be, you know, in a mansion somewhere.
Crystal:They might be tired.
Eric Beels:Yeah. A lot of them. I mean, that happens to some of them, but a lot of them, have have been on record, and they'll say, like, yeah. Winning the lottery was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
Chris DiNofia:And most of them went back to their old level. Yep. And so in order to raise the ceiling on your income level, one of my favorite lines from Jim Rohn, he says, you know, you work hard on your job, you make a living. You work hard on yourself, you make a fortune.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Chris DiNofia:Per the, income seldom exceeds personal development. And I think it's, raise the lid. John Maxwell always talks about, you know, if your if your business and your income is at a 5 and you wanna get it to a 7, you gotta raise the you gotta raise the lid. Mhmm. You gotta raise yourself to a 7.
Chris DiNofia:Right? So maybe, use an example, let's say you're a nurse's assistant, an LVN, and you wanna make more money. Well, then you go back. You get your degree as a nurse. Okay.
Chris DiNofia:You know, I I I really, really wanna be a get get my masters and work the OR department as a trauma case manager, we'll say Mhmm. Like my sister did actually. And then you go back to school, and you get that. And you build more knowledge. Oh, you know, I I really wanna be a doctor.
Chris DiNofia:And then you go back, and you get your doctor. It's, oh, I wanna specialize in hand. You get a fellowship in hand surgery. Whatever it may be. But you gotta keep raising your level, or you'll just you'll just box yourself in where you are.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Crystal:Because you attract your energy signature actually attracts where you're at, not where you want to be. So you have to raise that energy and vibration so that you can attract something at a higher vibration, which is what you want.
Chris DiNofia:Gotcha. Gotcha. I love that. Mhmm.
Eric Beels:Yeah. I love how so I I love you have it sounds like you have such a a very, like, like, healthily structured self development day. It sounds like like you you kind of it's almost like this, like, self development sandwich is what came to kind of mind. Right? You kinda start off with, like, spiritual development
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Eric Beels:And then you go into you start you start your day going to work development on your on your drive on the way to work.
Chris DiNofia:Mhmm.
Eric Beels:And then, on the way home, there's like because I think there's a certain level. I know for me, I get if I do all this kind of, like, work and educational stuff to kind of do this, I kinda get burned out, and then I'm just like, ah, yeah. And so so but in in in your case, you're learning, like, some his hit, history. So it's just that's, you know, like some other just mind Mhmm. You know, know, increasing your mind is something that you you you truly do you really enjoy.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Eric Beels:Like, whatever your personal hobby development might be or something. It might you know, somebody else could be something else. Maybe it's, you know, football, learning more about football, and then it's strategy in that or something like that. Right? Absolutely.
Eric Beels:Whatever your passion might be.
Chris DiNofia:Absolutely. And I think the trap that I've gotten into before, though, is just pushing all that stuff into my head. And, again, it was Jim Rohn that said, you know, you need to take time to reflect. Mhmm. And reflecting is a way of use utilizing equity of past experiences.
Chris DiNofia:Right? And so as you reflect, you really let the stuff soak in,
Eric Beels:you know.
Chris DiNofia:And it's like, you you know, I mean, I'll read a passage, you know. I I know this isn't a religious topic here, but I'll read a passage, and it and it and I'll and I'll just, you know, I'll just sit
Crystal:on that for days.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. I'll sit on that for days and just really let that go through and, you know, whatever it may be, certain quotes, you know, Viktor Frankl, you know, or, you know, whoever it may be, just things that just really hit me.
Crystal:But you also are reading this content not just to have it in there, but also to share it and apply it. You you just gave an education moment in our, BNI, like, a week ago, last week. And and the next week, 2 women in the group took action and brought that book to the in person meeting to share with other people in the group. Just tell me a little bit about how that felt. What it
Chris DiNofia:Well, that felt great. But, you you know, you got it so right is, you know, educating isn't for just yourself. It's so you can give it to the others. Right? What's the the Nelson Mandela line is, you know, who are you not to be great?
Chris DiNofia:You playing small doesn't serve the world. Alright. One more time. You playing small does not serve the world. And it's so true because as you learn, then you can help others and you can give to others.
Chris DiNofia:You can go to libraries and read to kids. You can, you know, tell kids that have no financial ability, you know, that they can be a homeowner, and this is what needs to be achieved and things of that nature. So I think you you learn it to give it away, just like money. Money is good for the good that money can do. Right?
Chris DiNofia:You and I, Crystal, we were talking about you don't wanna be a swamp. You wanna be a river. Right? You wanna be flowing and pouring into other people. That's what life is all about.
Chris DiNofia:I every morning, I read a little, you know, biblical quote is, you know, dear lord, help me find people today who need me, and help me find people who I need. And and I you get that reticular activator going if you guys are what where are that. Right? And you start looking for those people that that need you and and vice versa. And, okay, who could really use some mindset help with Crystal?
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Chris DiNofia:And, you know, or who really is out there that needs to get working on a podcast, you know, for Eric. And so just really, really tuning in at times. And you gotta you gotta make it purposeful. You have to be purposeful with that.
Eric Beels:Well, there's something something to be said too, like, kind of speaking speaking those those things into existence as well too. Because, like, when you you, you know, you you you speaking what you want to happen throughout that throughout the day or or or or or, the week. Like, that's why, you write down, like, affirmations.
Chris DiNofia:Mhmm.
Eric Beels:Sure. And and writing down what those what what those those things are. And, man, the first time I wrote down affirmations, it was actually kinda hard to, like, speak them actually.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. You
Eric Beels:know, which is saying something because it's like it's like, wait. I want all these things. Why are they, like, hard to say? Yeah. And,
Crystal:That's very common, by the way, especially if it's something that's, far from how you feel. Like, sometimes people are trying to say statements when we're doing the my process and you can tell because they'll the the words will not let come out
Chris DiNofia:of their mouth. Absolutely.
Crystal:And then by the end, they can say it and they're like, oh, it feels so much better because that's actually who they are. That's actually who you were. Yeah. It was something in life that made you not feel the way that you should have really felt.
Eric Beels:Mhmm. Mhmm.
Crystal:So it really isn't you. It's someone else or something else that kind of got you off of your alignment.
Chris DiNofia:Yep. Gotcha. Yeah.
Eric Beels:Yeah. I know when so, like, on you you you mentioned about kind of digesting books and and, like, for me, I'm a I'm I'm a kind of a, a slow I know some people, like, can, like, speed read through stuff and somehow able to digest things. I I've tried speed reading, and I feel like I kinda get through a chapter, and I'm just like, I have no idea what it was. Yeah. Yeah.
Eric Beels:No clue. Yeah. And, like, I and I even go back and read and read through it slowly. The second time, if I was kind of you know, I was like, I I actually do wanna kinda go through this. I'll go back and read through it again, and I'll be like, I don't wanna read any of this.
Eric Beels:Yeah. And, like, it's but but it's, like, it's so important, I think, for the purpose of not just kind of, like, reading something Yeah. But for the purpose of actually digesting what it is. Whatever that whatever your speed is, if you're if you're a slow reader like myself and you just slow to slow digest, read slowly. If you're if you're fast and you can also digest, great.
Eric Beels:Do that then too. Absolutely.
Chris DiNofia:And that's
Eric Beels:one of the reasons I don't really do a lot of audiobooks Sure. Because it's it's hard for me to digest audiobooks. Uh-huh. And, you know, podcasts actually I find are a lot easier to listen to, because it is just like a conversation. It's like you're just just listening in, finding the wall Sure.
Eric Beels:Listening to a conversation. Audiobooks usually are are kind of going, you know, sometimes they're addressing some difficult topics sometimes. It's actually hard to comprehend. So
Chris DiNofia:Okay.
Eric Beels:But that's just that's just myself there. But Yeah. The but the focus being on what what is was gonna allow you, to digest what's what's what's going on Right. In in whatever you're reading or the whatever whatever you're trying to
Chris DiNofia:learn. Sure.
Eric Beels:I think that's that's such an important, like, thing to focus on. Mhmm. That's why I like highlighting, writing stuff down. Yeah. Reteaching it too.
Eric Beels:That's the biggest that's a big thing for for retention purposes. You learn something, teach it to somebody. Absolutely. And then, like, it's, like, 90% of your attention is gonna happen through that that that that teaching moment. Yeah.
Eric Beels:So there's, yeah.
Chris DiNofia:It's a muscle. Right? Reading's a muscle. If you think about go back to your school days, right, In, in September. Right?
Chris DiNofia:You're just barely getting through stuff. And then by May, June, okay. I gotta do a paper on that. Boom boom boom boom. Here it is.
Chris DiNofia:Yep. It's so it's a muscle. Mhmm. And the more you read and the more you listen, it just gets easier and easier. And even if you if you stop, right, if you're not growing, you're dying.
Chris DiNofia:And you're either doing one or the other. And I definitely, you know, have reached plateaus at certain points and, got my I gotta tell you, BNI really gave me a nice shot in the, in the arm to get back at it because I never stopped, but I wasn't taking it in. I wasn't as hungry for it. And getting into BNI when I got into BNI, I knew that I would be able to help people out, bring in business. I knew I would I would be able to add value to the group.
Chris DiNofia:What I didn't expect was the quality of people. I had no idea. I had been in some networking groups before. And I would say, I always considered BNI the up the upper echelon of all networking groups. But this Escondido group, it's gotta be just some of the finest people on the face of the earth.
Chris DiNofia:I just and I really mean that from the heart. Just true true quality people, true givers, and they're people I wanna surround myself with. Right? They say you are the average of the 5 people you spend time with. And that's the type of people I wanna be around.
Chris DiNofia:Mhmm. Yeah. So I think it was a true blessing that I got the position. You might remember, I I it was it was a battle for me to get
Eric Beels:it. Yeah. I think I think, It was something like
Chris DiNofia:6 other lenders.
Eric Beels:Yeah. There was a there was there
Chris DiNofia:was several
Eric Beels:others. Yep. Yep.
Chris DiNofia:It was a battle royal.
Crystal:Yeah. Yeah. Jason Kalinski, you talked about a backup plan for the the SC. Yeah.
Eric Beels:He was
Crystal:talking about having the the people wrestling for it in their military days
Eric Beels:Yep. Yeah. Yeah.
Crystal:Working on out.
Eric Beels:Your position, the realtor position is similar to the the residential realtor. Yeah. Financial adviser. Oh, yeah.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. They're really tough positions. So but, yeah, it was it was a blessing that I got.
Crystal:Tough, but they're the golden egg. They're the golden goose. You know? You guys do have so many connections because of the role that you're in. It's almost a little bit of a responsibility to take all of those assets that you have and, like, kind of divvy them out.
Eric Beels:Oh, yeah. I think one thing that kind of, you know, you did that really, I think, helped play into your favor so much with getting your position actually too was you you, were were connecting with a lot of the members. Sure. You're connecting with a lot of the people on the membership committee when you would visit. Sure.
Eric Beels:And, I was on the membership committee at the time. I took note of that. I was like, okay. He's connecting with everybody. He's he's he's putting an investment in.
Chris DiNofia:Sure.
Eric Beels:And so I think that definitely played a huge part into you you getting the the the, position. You're just making a connection with with us. Like, yeah, we know him really well. He's Sure. Seems like a phenomenal person.
Eric Beels:And so that I think that played a role. So, like, that's you know, like, little things like that goes so far. But anything that builds that builds that relationship up, like, if you're I mean, in anything of others, you're trying to join a BNI chapter or you're you're, trying to, you know, maybe speak on a stage or something like that, and then there's only so many positions, like, make a connection with the person that is gonna be the decision maker for that. Yeah. It goes a long ways.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. And I really took it to heart getting the position, and I'm like, okay. I do not wanna let anybody down.
Crystal:You know?
Eric Beels:That's the flip side right here. It's like, oh, I got it. Oh, shoot. I got it now. Now I really can't.
Eric Beels:Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:Right. Right. Right. Yeah. No pressure, Chris, but we're all counting on you.
Crystal:But you did go in, but guns blazing. You did go in and have, like, the one to ones, and you people were like, wow. I think your actions actually reinspired some of the other people Oh, yeah. That were in the group. You know?
Crystal:Because after you've been in for a while, it can get a little, like
Chris DiNofia:Sure.
Crystal:Routine, should we say? Yeah. But I love that new members do bring that vitality.
Eric Beels:Oh, it's cool. That's the, like, the the the plot, plateau plateau part Yeah. That you had mentioned was, you know, it is really easy to kind of just get really kinda comfortable. Mhmm. And I noticed, like, I it's funny because it's so subtle.
Eric Beels:It kind of happens to me all the time where I'm like, oh, you know, you know, I'm I'm kind of working on things and maybe you're you're in a rhythm on doing some some kind of self development, like reading through your your business book or your bible or whatever it is. And then suddenly, you know, you realize, like, I haven't I haven't read my bible in 2 weeks, or I haven't read my my I stopped why did I stop that business book? And then Yeah. And, you know, it's what one thing I like about BNI is BNI kinda has a lot of, these things kind of, like, in place to actually keep you accountable. Right?
Eric Beels:Like, the traffic lights that we have. Sure. And and we talked a little bit about that with on on, Jason's episode, and he and and it's, the the the traffic lights help keep you accountable. That's why I wanna make sure I always kind of send those out all the time because you kinda look at it and you go, oh, I'm not I'm not as I know where I should be, or I'm doing better than I thought it was or whatever. Right?
Eric Beels:And so because it actually kinda helps keep you accountable, I think, from avoiding that that comfortable plateau. I'm having so much trouble saying that word today. I don't know why. Yeah.
Crystal:But let me give you a little ounce of credit. You mirrored him back earlier. So I just wanna let you know you you might be doing it and not realizing.
Eric Beels:Oh, okay.
Chris DiNofia:But, you know, but, you know, what you said, though, is true. And and it's one of my favorite quotes is what you focus on expands. Mhmm. Right? If the more you focus on something, right, if you say, hey, I just wanna have a ripped body, and you're going to the gym every day and you're eating the right foods, you're gonna have a ripped body.
Eric Beels:You
Chris DiNofia:know, if you wanna own multiple properties and you spend every day just grinding, grinding on that, that's what turns out.
Crystal:Mhmm.
Chris DiNofia:So and yeah. And I think it was Napoleon Hill in one of his less popular books talked about drifting, where you're just really, you know and and really, you're either growing or dying. And even if you know something really well, right, if we took podcast and podcasting away from Eric, and Eric didn't do it for a year a year, he would become pretty dim on the subject or a lot dimmer. Right? It it's it's not always like riding a bike, and it's like you just gotta keep on working on it and honing your skills and getting better at it and adding more to it.
Chris DiNofia:And and, you know,
Eric Beels:you're evolving.
Chris DiNofia:Right? Yeah. Yeah. So, Crystal,
Eric Beels:I have a question for you, actually, because this is kind of in your realm, right, with the the self self self development stuff. What would you say if someone's kind of like like I imagine there might be some people who've never really kind of thought much on the the, self self doing self development for business or whatever. Just they just kinda learn and then they just, you know, they just do what they do. How what would you say? How would you, help somebody to kind of get in that self development rhythm?
Eric Beels:Like, where would somebody begin assuming someone that has never really conceived of the thought of of doing much self development
Crystal:Yeah.
Eric Beels:And that taking that conscious action towards it?
Crystal:Okay. Well, I'm selfishly going to say that I have a resource on my website, mindset service.com, that they could do a little a check-in and assess 12 different areas of their life. But, essentially, like Chris said, what you're focusing on is what you manifest, what you think you become. So, really, it's about balance because there's some people who go to the gym every single day. Chris is going to the mental gym every day.
Crystal:Mhmm. There's balance that's required in all aspects of life, and, most often, it's the thing we don't want to do that is the thing that's going to get us where we need to go. So, if you felt like you don't want to take a step towards personal development, there might be a reason why. There might be a reason that you're feeling like, oh, maybe I maybe I didn't feel like I have a connection with myself personally. Maybe I don't know what I wanna grow into.
Crystal:There could be things holding you back, and my my like, Chris is nailing it on the head too. It's all about your intention and your heart. Where what do you want to be? What do you want the world to remember you? I I it really comes with yourself first, and then you can build the legacy out from there.
Crystal:If we don't work on ourselves, it sounds like Chris's life went exponentially better once he learned to cultivate himself. It's like growing a garden. Yeah. Our mind is a garden. If we tend to the garden, it grows and creates this beautiful, nourishing, con you know, stuff for us.
Crystal:But if we don't, then it gets full of weeds, and the weeds will take over the garden. So cultivating your mind is something like Chris is doing every day. It doesn't have to look exactly like what Chris does, but your own version of it. Having even a morning routine is incredibly powerful. When you start a small morning routine, no matter what it is, 1 or 2 things that nourish you, it does give you this foundation and this ability to stabilize throughout the day so you do feel stronger.
Crystal:Because there's a study that said that by 8:36, you've already determined the the energy of your day.
Eric Beels:8:36 in the morning?
Crystal:In the morning. Yeah. But because of by that time, you've either broken out of that negative manifestation loop because
Eric Beels:What what what what if you're not an early bird like myself?
Crystal:This was probably an average. I'm assuming it was an average.
Eric Beels:So there's probably some people that throw
Crystal:that average off. But, the the statistic was basically saying that you you can kind of essentially gauge your day by the morning portion of it.
Eric Beels:Yeah.
Crystal:And if you take that time to solidify and ground yourself and root into who you really are, taking a moment for yourself will allow you to pour into other people. And I think as entrepreneurs, we get stuck in our lane thinking, oh, I gotta do this. I gotta do this. I gotta do this. And Chris' message is so poignant that take a time to fill your gas tank so that you can drive faster.
Eric Beels:You know, you you that I love that you said that because it it so because I've noticed that if I can sometimes it's empty for me to just kind of get up and start working, but I found that if I do that, that kind of brings, like, a little bit of stress, and then what ends up happening is that kind of extrapolates that the whole day, then I'm just stressed that the entire day. Mhmm. But if I, like, get up extra early and and and kind of, like like, plan out some time to do some, you know, personal self development, whatever that that that might be, something that's more calming than just getting right to working Yeah. Then, I tend to be a lot more calm throughout the the rest of the day. Like, even, like, later on in the day at 4 PM or whatever.
Eric Beels:Right? And so and so I yeah. That's And
Crystal:it actually it's really interesting. So the the process that I do, the the doctors that doctor Bruce Lipton and Joe Dispenza use, He ran a study, and his name's doctor Jeffrey Fan. And in the study is called, the findings found this 17 second rule. So in 17 seconds, if you're thinking of something good or if you're thinking of something bad, the chemicals in your body will begin to change based on what you're thinking of.
Chris DiNofia:Mhmm.
Crystal:And then in 68 seconds, the cells of our body begin to change. So this is where that morning routine is really important because if you wake up and you're like, this is gonna be my day. I'm gonna say my 4 affirmations. I'm gonna read my book and have my coffee full of love. That's like my morning routine.
Crystal:Then you it gives you an opportunity to not go into the the 68 second part where if you don't do that, then maybe you're gonna spill your coffee. Maybe you're gonna stub your toe. Maybe you're late for work. And then like Eric just said, you can't wait for the day to be over on those kinds of days. That's Sure.
Crystal:It's a negative manifestation loop. So it can go positive or negative. And that's what Chris is talking about is taking that energy and and letting it go towards a positive direction. It sounds like he even had to really cultivate. This is something that you do have to learn.
Crystal:Even as a young kid, he had to make a conscious decision on who he wanted to be.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. Yeah. And I think also knowing that there will be challenges in every day. Right? Yes.
Chris DiNofia:You gotta set off set off on the right foot. But knowing that there will be challenges, you know, a a way of living that has really worked for me is I don't know if you guys ever heard of the Stockdale Paradox. Mhmm. Admiral is this is written in Jim Collins' book, great Good to Great. But Admiral James Stockdale was one of the highest ranking military officials shot down in the Vietnam War, at the Hanoi Hilton, spent 7 years there, would routinely be taken out and tortured.
Chris DiNofia:And a lot when he came out, a lot of people a lot of people that were with him didn't make it. And, you know, he was at they were asked like, what you know, how did you make it out? And a lot of people didn't. And he said and he goes, well, you know, a lot of people in there would say, hey, we're gonna be out of here by Christmas. We're gonna be out of here by Christmas.
Chris DiNofia:And Christmas would come and go. And, we're gonna be out of here by Easter. We're gonna be out of here by Easter. And Easter would come and go. And eventually, they would die of a broken heart.
Chris DiNofia:And he goes, this is what I've what I've learned. You need to have overwhelming faith that you will succeed with the most brutal discipline to face the obstacles that are in front of you, and you're not getting out of here by Christmas. And so it was kinda like when I ran a marathon years ago. It's like, I knew I could do it. I was optimistic, but I knew it was gonna suck.
Chris DiNofia:Mhmm. You know, I knew it was gonna be brutal going up to 163, you know, at on 8 mile 18 or whatever it was. So I think every day, if you just say, hey. I'm gonna succeed. There's gonna be challenges.
Chris DiNofia:Or I wanna reach this goal. I wanna make x amount of dollars per year. I can do this, but these are the obstacles that are in front of me.
Crystal:So expectations.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. So, again, it's just having an attitude of being positive, knowing you will succeed with the discipline to know that there will be obstacles.
Eric Beels:Yeah. Yeah. I think I think there's, there's, an aspect to to, like, set, like, the, achievable goals as well too. Right?
Crystal:Yeah.
Eric Beels:Sure. Because I I could see if you've said, like, I'm gonna do, you know, $4,000,000 a year or whatever as your, like, goal. But maybe if you're but if you're doing $80,000 a year, that's such a gargantuan jump. Absolutely. You know what I mean?
Eric Beels:It could very quickly turn into being I've been like, I'm never gonna reach you
Crystal:there, you
Eric Beels:know, or whatever. And so, you know, setting the right the right goals for where you're currently at
Chris DiNofia:Sure.
Eric Beels:I think is really, really, is really important to not get overwhelmed or just heartened by it. And then also, like, kind of just focus on what you can need to kinda do today, I guess, that for that's gonna help you, like, achieve those goals, whatever whatever that is. Like, focus on today. Don't worry about so much on tomorrow. You know, have a maybe a plan, but, like, focus on today as the is is what you're mostly focusing on.
Eric Beels:Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:Right. The the 8th wonder of the world by Albert Einstein is is the compound effect. Right? And I think you guys have probably read the book, The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. You might have heard that.
Eric Beels:I bet. I I'm gonna look that one up, though.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. And he just talks about doing something a little bit every day. And so, for me, it didn't start out by doing all these things, but, you know, I think you do start off with a mindset, and you get your mindset right. Right? The the chef of life shows up at your bed every morning, and he hands you a menu.
Chris DiNofia:And there's 2 things on there, good day or bad day. Right? And you can you know, you wanna pick good day, but just know, you know, you're gonna be working to have that good day. And so, you just but you constantly work on things. And it's just like like growing income.
Chris DiNofia:A lot of people, you know, look at these get rich schemes, the lottery, and even Bitcoin. Yep. You know, to me, a lot of that is just gambling. Whereas real real investing is boring as heck. It it's diversifying and just letting it sit and adding to it and just leaving it alone.
Chris DiNofia:You know, people wanna day trade and they wanna do this, and it's like that stuff.
Eric Beels:You know, the the thing that's never, like, sat sat right with me with, like, Bitcoin and and and on and really any of the cryptocurrencies is they've always kind of had, for me anyways, they've always kinda had this, like, shadow of greed surrounding it, where it's like, you know, you're not investing in crypto in in Bitcoin because you like Bitcoin.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. Yeah.
Eric Beels:No one's, like, doing that. Like, you might maybe, you know, you might invest in, like, a hotel
Chris DiNofia:Mhmm.
Eric Beels:Because you like where this hotel, and you like where it's at, and you like the placement, and you wanna and and and and you wanna make a cool place for for people to to, you know, like, have a resort at or whatever it might be. Right? And that but then it's that something like that is also simultaneously an investment for for your business as well. But, like, something like with with cryptos never really sat right because I'm like, what's the actual tangible value it provides? And I I don't doesn't really provide anything other than, oh, well, you know what?
Eric Beels:It's maybe it'll go up tomorrow, and I could sell it off for Yeah. You know, and make a quick Yeah. $10,000 or whatever. I don't know.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Eric Beels:And and and I I but I've never liked the the the fact that there wasn't it was just overshadowed by kind of, like, a greediness behind it. I'm not really I don't really wanna talk to clients to crypto so much, but, like
Crystal:important in life because, I mean, like you're saying, like, you can't invest in something you don't believe in. Sure. Like, with crypto, it's like, what maybe you're just I the only value I really see is, like, they could hide, you know, you don't have to to tax on it in a certain certain way.
Eric Beels:You can hide stuff.
Crystal:Yeah. You can hide stuff. Yeah. But, also, you don't have the protection. Right.
Eric Beels:Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's so it's super dangerous if you don't know know it don't know what you're doing, on it. And, like, people have, like, lost 1,000,000,000 of dollars from it. And and, you know, because they they didn't properly secure their
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Eric Beels:Their their, their their key, their security key for it. And, so it's, you know, simultaneously very, very dangerous if you don't know what you're doing with it. But, I mean, you know, maybe I hope hopefully, somebody can prove me wrong if if there's an idea that that I'm
Crystal:sure lots of people want to. Yeah.
Eric Beels:Prove me wrong. Like, write some you know? Sure. Comment some somewhere or something if if there's if if, you know, if there if you have an idea on how crypto is is you know, can have a real good tangible value
Chris DiNofia:on it.
Eric Beels:But I I
Chris DiNofia:I just think real success, real not not that wealth is success in itself, but real you have to and it's just like happiness. You have to ensue it. Yeah. You know? And you have to put into it every day, and and it's not a get get rich scheme, you know?
Chris DiNofia:It's like you have to put into it every day, and it's that compound effect. And then you look back years later, like, wow. I think, you know, with younger generations, and I'm not trying to bash on any generations at all, but I just think as you grow older, you don't have as much of this. When you're younger, you have a short term thought process, and you're not thinking the long game.
Crystal:Yeah. Yeah. Prefrontal cortex,
Chris DiNofia:isn't it? Yeah.
Crystal:Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Right? Right?
Crystal:That's not even formed yet.
Chris DiNofia:I think we we one of my favorite quotes is that we under we overestimate what we can do in a short period of time, and we underestimate what we can do in a long period of time. You know, you get like me, getting in your fifties and you start looking back, and it's like, wow. Those those seeds have grown. And it's just like, in business, you know, where you're constantly planting seeds. And, you know, some people in sales I I really don't I was listening to your conversation with Wes, which was fantastic.
Chris DiNofia:But to me, I guess the only sales part I consider in my job is getting in front of the person, but after that, it's education Mhmm. And educating them. And if I have that works for you, then great. But, you know, it's maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. And so I think that's just one of the things that you just have to constantly, though, be be pouring in to people.
Crystal:I think that's a great reminder, though, that peep to people, the audience, and that education is something that can be doesn't have to be bought. Yeah. You can an autodidact is someone who goes out and just wants to learn, and that's what how I see you. You go out and you have this hunger, this this thirst for the knowledge.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Crystal:And it sounds like it's kind of, escalated as you've gotten older. You got a taste of the knowledge. Sure. You wanted a little bit more. So of all of the things that you've learned, what are, like, 3 tips or 3 nuggets of wisdom that you would like to share with us?
Crystal:Like
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, the most important things are I've learned are the things I've learned since I've known it all. That's for sure, one one of the most important things is, you know, probably I used to say I used to say that when I get to the pearly gates, I'm gonna say, God, I use every attribute you gave me. I did my very best to use everything you gave me, every quality.
Chris DiNofia:And then it occurred to me that he's gonna say, well, Chris, that's great. You know, I definitely don't want you to squander those talents. But what I really wanna know is what did you do for other people? And that's probably as I've gotten older, I've kinda wanted to level the, you know, the scale out a little bit. The, the legal scale.
Chris DiNofia:Right? So it's so much the first half is so much about yourself. But kind of like in Maslow's, pyramid of higher hierarchy, you wanna start giving to others. And at the end of the day, what did I give more than I took? And so, I think really, probably one of the best bits I would be is number 1, you know, think of others.
Chris DiNofia:You know, really, really care about others. Wanna give to others. Wanna help them. Number 2, never, never stop learning. And, it's you just have to keep growing.
Chris DiNofia:And then whatever those different topics may be, you know, wherever you're coming up, sure. It is your you know, if you're spending too much time on this and your marriage is not doing great, okay, then maybe you need to spend time on that. They you know, people always talk about life work balance. You you really can only do that one thing at a time. Multitasking is a way of screwing up many different things at one time.
Chris DiNofia:Right? So I think you constantly need to be, working on that one thing. When I'm with when I'm with my wife, I'm with my wife.
Eric Beels:Right.
Chris DiNofia:You know? I've been married 19 years, best thing in my life. But when I'm with her, I'm with her. When I'm at work and I'm in front of clients, it's that client only. It's that's it.
Chris DiNofia:So I think that's really important. And then kinda going back really me in. At the end of the day, the answer to everything is I hate to sound kind of fufu, but it's love.
Crystal:Mhmm.
Chris DiNofia:At the
Eric Beels:end
Chris DiNofia:of the day, you just have to love people, and that's what it's really gonna be about in the end. So
Eric Beels:And, you know, that that focused attention is really, really important too. Right? You mentioned multitasking. Yeah. You know, I've I've I've heard that multitasking is not, like, really a thing really where it's like all you're really doing is just kind of switching from one thing to another extra quickly, but then now you're you're splitting your attention in that in that in that moment.
Eric Beels:And I don't know, maybe maybe women are a little bit better at that than at handling that than guys are because there's, you know, there's that the typical, like, oh, women are good multitaskers, than than men are, I guess, but I've heard that's not really much of a thing, but when you do that though, when you try to do that, you're, you're you're you're splitting your attention. Like, if if, you know, if you're spending time with your wife and you get a business call and you answer that call, how does she feel now? Right? And then also your your your also your your your your client or your customer as well too. It kinda goes the other way around.
Eric Beels:You're not giving them the attention that maybe they they deserve.
Crystal:And those boundaries are actually self love because you're so you're so disciplined in every aspect where you are kind of compartmentalizing because you're like, this is for this time. This is for this time. Everyone gets their time, but it's there's a time and place for it. So and but that also might not work for some other people because some people don't like a structure as much. So Mhmm.
Crystal:Whatever works for that person I mean, explore it, but also push yourself because you weren't like this at the beginning. But by incorporating that self development and that growth that you got to become essentially someone I I I'm inspired by. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry
Chris DiNofia:to hear you.
Crystal:The messages that you gave with love being the answer is such a beautiful message, especially with everything that everyone's gone through the last Yeah. You know, 3 years or 4 years. It's it's been a lot as a collective, and we need a giant hug for humanity. Absolutely.
Chris DiNofia:Absolutely. We really do. It's and that that you just gotta keep looking at what people need and and, you know, and listen. I'm selfish just like the next person. Some days, it's just better just to lie in bed and, you know, my own problems.
Chris DiNofia:But there's always somebody out there who needs something and trying to get better at that. Mhmm. So I always try to get better.
Eric Beels:So what do you do when if you you, you know, you because we all have rough days sometimes as well too. How do you what do you do when, like, you you wanna project love on onto folks
Chris DiNofia:Yeah.
Eric Beels:And onto the people around you, but you've had a rough day. How do you handle how do you handle that?
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. You know, sometimes it's you know you know, it's it's kind of a trick, but it it it's just to listen. Right? Because let's say I come let's say I come home, and, you know, my wife's got a couple friends. This is just an example, And I she's got a couple friends over I haven't seen in a while, and I'm just beat from my day.
Chris DiNofia:And, you know, maybe they got a glass of wine or something, and they're all Chatty Cathys, ask less and Ask a listen. It's kind of a trick, you know. It's kinda like, I I care, but I just don't have, you know I just don't have it. I don't have the bandwidth. It's it's like you're introverts.
Chris DiNofia:It's money with introverts. You can just see it on their forehead. You can just see when they're running out of bandwidth, and it's like they don't have it. And I think that is, like, one of the lessons I've learned is I just ask questions. And I care, and I do wanna hear, but I just don't have as much to bring to the table at that time.
Eric Beels:Mhmm. Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:Was that the right answer? I don't know if that was the right answer, but that's just
Eric Beels:I thought that was a great answer. Yeah.
Crystal:I think it's so good for for the audience to walk away with the ask, listen.
Eric Beels:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And
Crystal:ask and listen some more.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. Yeah. Because people, you know, it's funny, and you probably heard this before. I'll have a conversation, and I'll let the other person do all the talking because I wanna learn. And then later, god, he's such a great conversationist.
Chris DiNofia:I didn't say anything. Sorry.
Crystal:I don't say
Chris DiNofia:I barely said anything, but I got to learn a lot.
Crystal:Yeah.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. So
Crystal:Yeah. They got to say something, so it made them feel connected to you.
Chris DiNofia:Yeah. That's what I love about BNI is, like, all these different occupations, the things I know nothing about and that I get to learn about.
Crystal:So cool.
Eric Beels:Yeah. So ask, listen. I think that's the main takeaway, I think, to kind of summarize everything. Like, ask, listen is kind of the main, if you're gonna take away one thing, that's probably one of the best best things from this. I love that.
Eric Beels:It's very actionable, very practical as
Chris DiNofia:well. So Yeah.
Eric Beels:So, Chris, if somebody wanted to get in contact with you and and, have a one on one with you or something like
Chris DiNofia:that, how would they
Eric Beels:how would they best do that? What's the best way for someone to reach out to you?
Chris DiNofia:Sure. My name and phone number, email are all over the Internet. If you just look up Chris Dinofia, d I n o f I a, you'll easily find me on there, or you can call me at 858-212-1443.
Eric Beels:Okay. Great. Alright. Thanks so much.
Crystal:And I'm sure he'll have a book suggestion for any person out there.
Chris DiNofia:Absolutely. Absolutely. There's always a book for somebody at a certain moment.
Eric Beels:Well, thanks so much, Chris. You. This has been this has been fantastic. If you got value out of this episode and and and you, like, really, you learned something new about, asking, listening, or about loving others, and your personal self self development, and you know somebody else who you know what? This person not doing a whole lot of self development.
Eric Beels:This could be a great episode, for them. So, share this episode with them. I think that they'll be very grateful that you did that. And it's also how we, help grow this show as well. So share this episode.
Eric Beels:Thanks so much for listening.
Crystal:Don't forget to log your CEU. Thank you for joining us for the business boost hour. My name is Crystal Pravette and this is Eric Beals. Thank you for joining us, and don't forget to document your single CEU. See you next time.
Eric Beels:See you in the next episode.
Creators and Guests
