15. Breaking Free from the Perfectionism Trap with Bryan Gonzalez
Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Business Boost Hour podcast. My name is Eric Beals and I am the vice president of BNI Escondido.
Crystal:My name is Crystal Prevett and I am the president of BNI Escondido. Welcome to the single CEU podcast.
Eric:And today, we have Brian Gonzales. Say hi, Brian.
Bryan Gonzales:Hi, everybody.
Eric:How are you?
Bryan Gonzales:I am doing great this morning.
Crystal:Welcome. Welcome. So excited to have you.
Eric:Awesome. And so, Brian, why don't you first let's start off by, introducing yourself to the listeners and just to tell us a little a little bit about yourself and and, what you do, and and how long you've you've been in BNI.
Bryan Gonzales:Okay. Good. Well, I, my name is Brian Gonzales, as you know. I, I'd be remiss not to mention my family first, very important to me. So I have a wife and 3 children, couple high schoolers in junior high.
Bryan Gonzales:I have been a business owner and a business attorney and a business and real estate broker and investor for the last 28 years.
Eric:Nice.
Bryan Gonzales:And I joined BNI Escondido, about 9 months ago.
Eric:Okay. Mhmm.
Bryan Gonzales:Yeah. So I'm really fired up about it too. It's great. It's a
Eric:great experience. Is this your first time been in BNI?
Bryan Gonzales:It is. I had searched for BNI. I've known about it for probably 5 or 10 years. I moved to San Diego about 10 years ago and I was very busy when I first moved here, but then I sold a company that I owned in late 2020 2 and found some time. And I actually joined the San Marcos Rotary.
Bryan Gonzales:And I had been a Rotarian in the Los Angeles area prior to moving, and so I was able to have more time to do that. And one of our members in Escondido, Jo Coyle, his girlfriend is in the San Marcos Rotary. So we met at a Christmas party about a year ago. And then I saw him again at a wine mixer in January this past year. And he told me about BNI.
Bryan Gonzales:And I had been searching, but not really Had identified Kendi though, but wasn't Saw that there was a business broker there actually, and didn't really But saw it was one of the bigger clubs, looked like longer term clubs. And so, I talked to Joe probably in late January, and he said, Oh, well, that person's leaving. I do a few different things. So there was a few different spots open, but we decided to go in as a business broker. Mhmm.
Eric:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember he had moved away, and he was moving to Boston. Yeah.
Eric:Boston. And I I got to remember you came in, like, shortly after that. So, yeah, it's great.
Crystal:Yeah. Life happens. You got to start a family, and we got a really great new addition.
Bryan Gonzales:Yeah. Totally. So
Eric:so today, our topic is, the the dangers of perfectionism. And so I I think this is a phenomenal topic because it it's something that I know I've fallen into this trap. It's been a long grow, growth for me on not being a perfectionist Yeah. Perfectionist myself. And what what does that mean what does that that mean to you?
Eric:And and and what what sparked the idea for you to, come in here and kind of, like, bring up that that topic for for today?
Bryan Gonzales:Well, we only have an hour. Right? So just wanna make sure because, I mean, it'll I can go. I can go as deep as you want. I can go as deep as you want.
Eric:I'll have you back for a part 2.
Bryan Gonzales:Well, I'll tell you that, I think as, at least in my opinion or for my stories, I aged and went through some trial and error of life. I like to say, I failed my way to where I'm at. Is you have to realize, you come to certain concepts that you draw upon and that you have to continually draw upon, I think, as you wake up every day. I think that we all do things to try to wake up properly, but it doesn't always work. And sometimes things will ruin our day.
Bryan Gonzales:So, one of those concepts, at least for me, was that, was about the perfectionism. And it started more with, at times when I've had to be employed, it started with kind of a theory of an interview question and how to turn it around. That's when it first started. I started thinking about it probably 20 or 30 years ago. And Yeah, 20 years ago.
Bryan Gonzales:And it was more of an answer initially to, you know, what's your greatest fault? It's like, well And the programmed answer was, well, I used to be a perfectionist, but I learned how to prioritize, and now I get the right things done timely. And that sounds great in an interview, right? And I haven't had very many interviews, but when it worked, and I was asked that question a couple of times, but that's where it kind of was born from. And then being employed and not being employed was a majority of my career and having to be self employed.
Bryan Gonzales:And so self employed sounds great, but it's not for the lighthearted. It's very nerve wracking. And so the idea of perfectionism will transform into a comfort zone because of fear, right? And so the reality is that you know, it metamorphosed, or I should say, it manifest into a different type of concept in the sense that it became, I had to start recognizing it like, well, it's not a good time to do it yet because I need to do this. I need to do that and I need to do this.
Bryan Gonzales:And that eventually, I figured that out, that that really became just a way to avoid things. And why am I avoiding things? Because it's a fear of failure. Right? And it draws upon, then you start That probably came to me 10, 15 years ago.
Bryan Gonzales:And then, but beyond that, before that, when I had gotten married or started my first business or had a child, frankly, you know, you talk to advisors in your life and elders and stuff like that, and they're so wise. Right? And, you know, I remember talking to my brother and he said about, should I get married? You know, this is 20 years ago, maybe longer, 25, 22 years ago. And he said, there's never a good time to get married.
Bryan Gonzales:You know? And then once you have a I did get married, right? So I'm coming up on year 20 on Tuesday. Nicely. Yeah.
Bryan Gonzales:Isn't that great? Yeah. This coming Tuesday.
Eric:20. Nice.
Bryan Gonzales:And the we'll probably watch a movie or something. We'll go see Gladiator too, right? Or children. But anyways, but then you have a child and then you start talking about that and he's like, There's never a good time to have a child, right? And then I had was a partner in a business where I had ownership some years later, and then I started my own business.
Bryan Gonzales:And then it kind of Another person told me there's never a good time to start a business. Now, I mean, in general, you know, it might be you know, there there might be a good time to start a business based on the economy, or on certain trends or maybe to buy certain stocks, but to actually take the risk is
Eric:I think it's like it's never a perfect time.
Crystal:Yeah.
Eric:Right? There's certainly better times and worse times, but there's never a perfect time. And so if your standard is, like, a perfect time I'm waiting for the perfect the perfect time
Bryan Gonzales:Mhmm.
Eric:To do x y z thing, whether it's have a kid or get married or or, start a business or whatever it might be, I think you're setting you're you automatically are setting yourself up for failure.
Crystal:Well yeah. And whose perfect time?
Bryan Gonzales:Your perfect time? Society's perfect time? I mean, there's a lot
Crystal:of different standards here, and it's, Society's perfect time? I mean, there's a lot of different standards here, and it sounds like society kind of is glorifying the perfectionism where it sounds like, Brian was able to, like, kind of see through some of that and say, hey. I might need to prioritize this instead.
Bryan Gonzales:Well, yeah. I mean, I'm I'm
Eric:kinda going through that, you know, that that aspect this aspect right now. You mentioned kid and, like, you know, my, wife right now, at the time of this recording, she's 11 weeks pregnant right now. And, and, you know, we we had but we've been married for, 5, 6 years now and had to think about that. And and it's been, you know and and, you know, but we've waited because we're like, oh, let's let's wait for the right time. Let's wait for the right time on things.
Eric:Like, oh, we're not ready or not or whatever it is and such too. And then, you know, it kinda came down to, like, we're never gonna be, quote, ready. Mhmm. And so and so we're just like, you know what? Let's not let's just you know, we have we we and after kinda thinking about it honestly, I felt like we weren't, like, really prepared.
Eric:And then I kinda realized I have a very strong church community that I'm a part of. I have parents multiple parents from my in laws and my my biological parents from all local. We and we we have a strong supportive community that will that, like, like, that that I know just just just a supportive community in general. And I was like, what what what is it gonna be ready for me to kind of have that 7, to, for us to have a kid.
Bryan Gonzales:Right.
Eric:And I realized, I'm like, man, we're just making excuses. You know? And I was like, let's just let's let's let's let's do that. Let let let I think this is a next, stepping stone, next stage in my life.
Crystal:And Which I'm secretly super excited about.
Bryan Gonzales:I'm super excited too. Yeah. I love babies. Right? I love babies too.
Eric:Yeah. I mean, I just got a video recording of of of my my my child, like, jumping around in the womb and stuff too, which is the one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. And it's still kind of, like, shocking to me where I'm just like, wow. That's like my kid. I can't I can't
Bryan Gonzales:Do you feel like why haven't I done this sooner? A little bit. Is that in your mind?
Eric:You know, not really, actually. I don't. And and and I and I feel like there's a certain aspect of I had to kinda come almost like come to terms because we've kinda talked about that a little bit where it's like, you know, what would I be panicking 10, you know, if I if it was 10 years ago? Probably. I'd probably be because it in my head, I wasn't, like, necessarily prepared for the the the not perfect time aspect.
Eric:Now I am. Even though I still don't feel like it's, like, the perfect time, the perfect time, quote, perfect time, I still I'm, like, prepared to recognize now because I've matured more. I and I've prepared to recognize that no time is going to be perfect. And I I think that's a really important thing you need to kinda come to terms with and, like, no time is gonna be perfect. There's just gonna be better times and worse times.
Eric:And
Crystal:Kind of a little bit plays into what Andrew Loewen was talking about yesterday. He was talking about, like, our house or our life is a castle, and we first we have to put down the foundation. So
Bryan Gonzales:you
Crystal:have these last few years been laying the bricks, put the foundation down, and like you said, as you get older, your perspective starts to change. Things that would have bothered you in the past, you're kinda like, oh, I can do that. So, and the the progress over perfection, I love that that statement.
Eric:What does it what does it mean to you, Crystal? Perfectionism? Yeah. Like, how
Crystal:For me, it's so for me, my my perfection comes from myself. Like, it stems from my, like, kind of a little bit okay. Trigger warning. Perfectionism can be a little bit of a trauma response.
Bryan Gonzales:Mhmm.
Crystal:Because if you had a, a a life where you were trying to get attention, where you were trying to get validation, maybe your parents didn't hear what you were saying or you didn't feel a scene as heard, that perfectionism can turn into trying to get people to like you, and then you can be doing it for them to like you instead of for your own, reasons. So for me, perfectionism, a little bit is a high standard that I put on myself because of the things I know that I could achieve, but it's that fine line of doing it with fun and grace and, like, kind of walking that line of, am I pushing myself a little too hard?
Eric:I I can relate relate to that. Like, because I I used to be very much like, I'll be the one to kinda get something done, and and I used to kind of, like, almost like, it was hyper stressed over things because I wanted to make sure it was, like, done Control. Yeah. Perfectly. Yeah.
Eric:Control freak completely. And,
Bryan Gonzales:I
Eric:mean, it really wasn't until recent recently, maybe in the last days, if it feels longer ago, but I guess it's really on the last, like, couple years that I've really, for me, releasing the perfectionism was actually delegation for me. Mhmm. And so because I was more of the along the lines of a control freak, and that was the perfectionist side of me that that and I'm an analytical person. I was like, no. It's gotta be done this way.
Eric:You know? Very, like, systematic, like, you know, oh, just let me do it or whatever it is. The the the the problem with that for me is, man, it raised my stress levels massively, because I was often doing things I really did not wanna be doing, but I just did it because Eric knows better or I knew I could do it better or whatever. And when that's just in my head. I probably can't do it better.
Eric:I just think that I can. But for me and and and so for
Crystal:me, it was less variables. If you do it, it's just going ahead and doing it. But then when you train someone to do it, it's like a longer term support and a longer term relief.
Eric:Absolutely. Yeah. And that that one for me was, like, a big stepping stone for for me on on, like, not worrying about perfection getting away from the perfectionism, which was, like, delegated. Like, a lot and it's a lot has to do with, like, even with with this. Like, I used to edit a lot all the podcasts.
Eric:Now I do virtually 0 of the editing because I have I've delegated that to my wife and to to my editor now and such too. And, you know, it
Crystal:it it But that's kind of the glory of, like, especially with Brian having multiple businesses as you evolve, your perspective evolves. You you do have to realize that you can't do everything. If you have multiple businesses, there might be some things where you have to call someone in, which is really great with BNI because you can you can have people support. So speak to that a little, Brian.
Bryan Gonzales:You know, You guys brought up like 10 different things. Yeah. I know we would. But it's No, no. I'm just saying there's so many concepts there, but I think that the I think it's natural And I'm gonna get I'm probably gonna need you to remind me what your most recent question was, but why are you perfect?
Bryan Gonzales:Why do you need to be perfect, right? And I think that The thought that I understand, I have a long history in healthcare, really, with mental health. Not me, but being as a CEO and as an owner and stuff like that. And so, that stuff's real, but the You could I could sit I know why. Like, I know my story and I know why.
Bryan Gonzales:Why default? And I think for a lot of people, their default is a need for approval or for failure, right? And I know why, but I also think that time to let go of why. Now what? And I think that on a tactical basis, what are you doing beyond And I think knowing why is important because you have to have accountability for it, right?
Bryan Gonzales:Whether it's someone else's fault in my mind or it's my fault, it's affecting my life. It's here and now. And if it's affecting my life, it's affecting others around me, particularly those that I provide for in a money sense, right? And so, what And I don't wanna belittle it, and that's what I meant by mental health is that I don't wanna belittle mental health, but that's all fine and dandy. Why?
Bryan Gonzales:Now what? Now what are you gonna do? And it's in that question is how you treat the idea of perfectionism. It's called lift a finger, lift the phone up, take an action. Yeah.
Bryan Gonzales:Right? That is literally the antithesis of perfection, right? Because you can't get the You could say action trumps perfectionism. Yeah. You could say progress is greater than perfectionism.
Bryan Gonzales:It's really There is no progress if you don't pick the phone up, if you don't take that risk and
Crystal:You're paralyzed in it now.
Bryan Gonzales:Right. And so you know, okay, that's great. We can And you come down to 2 choices. And as you get older, you start realizing that nobody really cares. And logistically, right?
Bryan Gonzales:And it's like, of course I can I have very close family, siblings, my parents still alive, thankfully, etcetera? And I can call them up and they're gonna give me a hug. They might loan me a little bit of money, I mean, if I really need it. But it's not They don't It's part of life, right? Those are the trials and tribulations of life.
Bryan Gonzales:You just have to start framing it towards things in, okay, well, if I'm gonna Everybody says I have to fail to succeed, right? So this is one of your failures. I was told of that. I lost pretty much all 99% of my wealth except the house and the 2 little boys in 2009 in that recession, right? Like put me back.
Bryan Gonzales:I got lucky in my 30s. I don't wanna say I got lucky, but I got lucky in my 30s, and then I thought I was untouchable, thought it would last forever, thought I could retire at 40 years old and lost it all by 40 years old, right? So you had to really kind of think why. And talking to those elders, they said, Don't let it happen again. The way you're not letting it happen again is to take action, right?
Bryan Gonzales:You have to start rebuilding things. But before I get too tangentialized, I think you would At the end of the last comment, I don't know if you remember it, you had mentioned something about, The
Crystal:thing maybe about like maybe societal norms and like forcing you to feel like, is it is it our personal pressure or is it society's pressure?
Bryan Gonzales:I agree. And it's and it it's funny because it's right. Your perception is reality. Right? And people use that comment, like, perception is reality and what the audience is hearing, which is totally correct.
Bryan Gonzales:But I think in this context, you're absolutely right. I mean, is it No one really cares at the end of the day whether you're one way or not. That's what you find in adulthood, and I love that. And therefore, why should you care? And I'm pretty devout Catholic, and Jesus really helped me figure that out in the sense that default is the comparison, is really, right?
Bryan Gonzales:They say, Don't compare yourself, right? Because I have very close friends of fraternity brothers that are a billionaire. I have a fraternity brother that's a billionaire that is a year younger than me. And you're like, Woah, bro. Why you not me?
Bryan Gonzales:I thought I was And it's like, why are you comparing? Are they around? Do they affect your everyday life? And I think that, so, I think that's, on a tactical basis, don't compare, Kinda lends itself to what you were talking about.
Eric:Well, I think there that that's an aspect that kinda goes to, like, the the either, like, the the grass is greener on the other side or, like, you might be comparing yourself to 1 person. Well, there also might be that you don't even realize there might be 10 other people that see you and compare themselves to you. They're like,
Bryan Gonzales:man, why am I not why am
Eric:I not like Brian? Like, you know, he's got, you know, a fantastic family. Maybe there might be or whatever it might be. Right? It might who who knows what they might be comparing to?
Eric:And so if you're I think if if if we all if we constantly compare compare ourselves to somebody else, that's it's gonna be, it's gonna be kind of detrimental to your your mental health, definitely, I think.
Crystal:Yeah. Because we're only seeing part of the picture. I mean, let let's talk about society and then the the pressures that we have. I mean, look at social media. When we look at someone, we're like, wow.
Crystal:They have it all. They've got everything. I used to look like I had it all together, and I was the most miserable I had ever been in my whole life. I was dying inside, but you looked at my picture, and I'm sure, like Eric said, I'm sure I had many people going, oh, I wish I had her life, but I couldn't really tell them the the depths of the pain that I was in. And, so not everything is at face value either, so you have to take that into account too.
Crystal:It's like, is my idea of perfectionism so high that it's actually not attainable? If that's the case, then we might need to shift our perspective and kinda reassess our goals.
Eric:Yeah. And, you know, I think that one of the ways to kind of, I think, also help combat this is, like like you mentioned on the on the, like, the the phone call. I think you mentioned,
Bryan Gonzales:Pick up
Eric:the phone. Pick picking up the phone and such. Right? 1, you you like, I think some a perfectionist might pick up the phone
Bryan Gonzales:and go, man. I did I didn't
Eric:do very good on that phone call. I might go, I I I should've said this. I should've said that x y z. When instead, maybe what they should be going, hey. At least I made the call.
Eric:Yeah.
Crystal:At
Eric:least I at least I did the call. Maybe it went bad or maybe it didn't go the way you wanted it to, but at least you made the call.
Crystal:It reminds me of your first time at BNI, how you were, like, I was shaking. I didn't wanna talk. Like, when I did my first commercial Yeah. Think about that, like, using that as a
Eric:example. Petrified.
Crystal:Yeah. You were petrified, and now look at you. When we give up, like, you know, the the resilience that you've created, the repetition of doing that, now when you can get up and give a confident commercial, and it's not something you probably think about the same way, but think about, like, that that evolution of that process to go from being so nervous to doing it so many times that now it feels more natural. And I think that kind of is where perfectionism lies is finding that sweet spot where it is who we really are, but we're able to let go the limiting belief so we can actually enjoy it. Mhmm.
Crystal:Because sometimes that perfectionism, it's debilitating. It puts stress and anxiety on ourselves, and we it it is, like you said, it can be the thief of joy. Because if we're pushing all this pressure on ourselves, how are we gonna shine?
Bryan Gonzales:Yeah. Right. And, you know, therein lies the it's better just not to think about it. If we talk about substances or vices and stuff like that, it actually can become a vice to say, well, it's not a good time, or I need to do this. And so, you go into your comfort zone as almost a vice.
Bryan Gonzales:It's avoidance, right? And so, you have to do that. And what I like about BNI too is that you're forced to take action. So when I said pick up the phone, it's more about, hey, do something, take some action, Yeah. Like that's great.
Bryan Gonzales:Sure, you should prepare, right? But it's more important if I have to do certain follow-up with clients, right? I'm thinking about not saying the words follow-up, okay, because that's a tactic. But also, there's a schedule of my day where I'm making phone calls and it's planned. That's fine.
Bryan Gonzales:But I still, oh my gosh, I get bad news right before that part of my day happens. And you're like, Oh, that's tough. How do I wipe that off? And it's like, Well, maybe I shouldn't do this and maybe I gotta address that. And you're like, Hey, no, no, no, no.
Bryan Gonzales:You need to pick up the phone and start making these phone calls and communicate, and you need to find a reason why. So I think that that's why taking action is so important. And along those lines, you need to think about, what is your day? What are you doing to be in the game of that, right? And I think I was speaking to you earlier or maybe doing our one on ones is that this working from home stuff is great, but you're just alone.
Bryan Gonzales:I mean, especially, and maybe in my business at least, I'm alone and it's great. And you know, I don't wanna be alone. And you get too much in yourself and you're like, okay, I gotta get out. I need to go out and like do something because I'm gonna get because naturally by default, you're going. So to battle that, it's important, at least it was for me, to structure my day in a consistent way that relates to, hey, taking action.
Bryan Gonzales:Hey, I think all of us can say that daily. We're like, Ugh. You know, like there's something that's scary, right? And and so the question is, what are you doing about it? Because I can keep putting it off, but it's not gonna get better.
Bryan Gonzales:Right? Yeah. I have
Crystal:a question for you. Mhmm. What's a synonym for you to the word follow-up? What's another way to say that for you? Because here's what I heard.
Crystal:Alright? I heard you say, I'm not gonna say follow-up. I'm gonna tell myself, don't say follow-up. Don't think of a purple elephant. What just happened there?
Bryan Gonzales:Right.
Crystal:So you told yourself not to think of something, and then it came right to your head. So if you're saying don't think of a follow-up, then you're actually kind of planting that seed in your brain. So a better way to do that would be so for you, what's the what's another
Bryan Gonzales:thing that I wanna know about? Sentences is that, hey, you know, hi, Crystal. This is Brian. I know that you had contacted me about your business. I've had a lot of things going on, so I'm coming back up for air now.
Bryan Gonzales:Wanted to get back to you. Another one is, Hey, Crystal. You know, we had spoken about your business. Where do we go from here? I don't wanna say the word follow-up.
Bryan Gonzales:I want them to try to draw them.
Eric:Is that a banned word? Is that a bad thing?
Bryan Gonzales:Well, it's not that. It's just that I want to develop
Eric:I think I've said
Bryan Gonzales:that word before. I wanna be exclusive. And if I say it, I put it on your time. Yeah. Hey.
Bryan Gonzales:I'm here to follow-up. You're like, oh, you're trying to sell me something. You know, instead of, hey. We talked about this, you know, and and and I'm I'm available now. That's what I'm trying to say.
Eric:Like, like, hey. Just just touching base again. I I said I think I've I've I've said that. I think I have said follow-up before too. I don't know.
Eric:That word for me hasn't bothered me if if somebody somebody says that. Sometimes I appreciate it because I'm like, I in my head, I know I need I'm looking to work with somebody, but I just haven't I haven't reached out to them. And then they reach out to me and say, hey. Just following up on this. And I don't know.
Eric:For me, that hasn't that those words haven't bothered me.
Crystal:But that's exactly the point. So Yeah. As if it does is something that he didn't want to think, then he could say just instead of saying don't say follow-up, say do say reach out.
Bryan Gonzales:Sure.
Crystal:So it's just a just a little mental shift because the subconscious doesn't recognize words like don't, can't, know, or won't. Sure.
Bryan Gonzales:So
Crystal:if you're telling yourself, don't do this, your subconscious doesn't read that word.
Bryan Gonzales:Mhmm.
Crystal:So you're telling yourself essentially to say follow-up. Right. So it's just a little tiny, like, mental Yeah. Shift.
Bryan Gonzales:You know, I have to write often, because you're defaulting to the word follow-up because that's what you're doing, reaching out, update me. But I have to think on a tactical basis how the words come out in a sales environment, and that's And I'm writing them down. And sometimes literally on a Post it, I will write them before I'll make follow-up calls. I'll write them down and just to remind myself of the kind of message I wanna leave. Exactly.
Bryan Gonzales:Literally. And I'll write out the message on a Google Doc and leave that exact message if they don't answer or if I talk to them. Because there are There's a whole world of sales discussion, words to use, and they never want you to use follow-up, right? So those are the 2 that come to mind. And it's to build One more thing.
Bryan Gonzales:It's to build the exclusivity that they need you, that you're not trying to sell them something that you're calling because you can provide something to them based on their perception that why did they contact you to begin with? Because they wanna Not because you wanted to sell them something, But if I say follow-up, then they think I'm selling you something. I'm just like every other salesperson.
Eric:It might depend on the relationship that you already have have with the person too. If it's, like, kind of a cold relationship, then maybe then maybe, yeah, maybe it's maybe that's that's not the right word. I I've gotten away from kind of using that word actually just to kind of realized because I do a lot of, like, acronyms, for first stuff when I need to do so. Yeah.
Bryan Gonzales:That's great. The first language. Yeah.
Eric:So I yeah. I go it says f u, and I'm like, wait a minute. This is too negative. I don't like this at all. So I like I've kinda gotten away from that because the acronyms just just is it it lessens
Bryan Gonzales:the greater memory and activity on it. Yeah. Yeah.
Eric:And, it is kind of, so I've gone away. I've I've tried
Crystal:to get the rhythm from that. Spin on it.
Eric:Yeah. I didn't I so I've got away from that.
Bryan Gonzales:You know, Crystal, were you talking more in the moment? You know, because you get stressful moments. Right? Because people say you can do all these things to de stress and it's like you have to meditate for a week and you gotta do all these things. Right?
Bryan Gonzales:And a lot of people do that, but that doesn't help the momentary stress. That doesn't help the momentary doubt. Was that more kinda what you were talking about? Like, right before you make the call, not to negative program?
Crystal:Exactly.
Bryan Gonzales:Okay.
Crystal:It was and you essentially kind of answered the own question that said that you were already doing it. So it's Yeah. It's to remind ourself to put in the positive of what we want instead of to think of what we don't want to say. If we think of what we don't want to say, you're gonna accidentally end up
Bryan Gonzales:saying it.
Crystal:Yeah. So but if but if you have a list, like you said, of these are the points that I wanna hit on, you're gonna be so much more prepared, and you're gonna end up articulating what you wanted to say instead of don't think of the purple elephant. The purple elephant will come up.
Bryan Gonzales:Right. Right. Right. Mhmm.
Eric:Well, I think too, like, you know, it's kind of like a lighter a little bit lighter version of, you know, I think we all kind of know some people that are, like, that are kind of, like, negative all all the time. Yeah. And, like, whether it's complaining about something in their life, something in their work, or whatever it might be. And, you know, that person's the the the their life always seems like it's in shambles, but they're always also kind of complaining or talking about whatever whatever their their complaint is versus rather seeing, like like the silver lining on things. And I think do when when people do that, you're you're you're manifesting that.
Eric:You're essentially kind of like, you start kind of causing more
Crystal:problems. Causes more and more and more, and I will actually admit that I used to be that person.
Bryan Gonzales:Mhmm.
Crystal:I used to have a lot of things that I would immediately deflect to them, like worst case scenario or the negative or, I I used to attract more trauma and more things than I would be like, woah. Why is this happening to me? My house is being struck by lightning, and, like, weird things would happen to me. And when you can break free of that negative manifestation loop is really when this the awareness is what starts. And and what Brian says is the awareness of knowing that perfectionism might not be attainable.
Crystal:So okay. So what does that mean? Maybe we need to, like, reassess what we're really like, our goals are. Maybe our goal isn't actually to be perfect. Maybe our goal is that we wanna make a certain amount of money or that we want to invest in a relationship so that we can be 20 years down the road and and still have a relationship that we we care about, but then you're just looking at the billionaire saying, oh, he's got this, but I can guarantee you more money just means different problems.
Bryan Gonzales:Sure. It
Crystal:doesn't mean that you
Bryan Gonzales:The song. Yeah. For all
Eric:you know, that billionaire is going like, man, so jealous.
Bryan Gonzales:I wish
Crystal:you was like, how
Eric:do you want your marriage?
Bryan Gonzales:All I wish was yeah.
Eric:Or or or they're going, or or
Bryan Gonzales:they're going, man. All I wish was I wish I was on par
Eric:with, like, Elon Musk or something, you know, and they're like looking at him with a $300,000,000 net worth or whatever.
Bryan Gonzales:There's not a lot of, I was able to have Easter with my parents. I mean, Easter, Thanksgiving, sorry, wrong, wrong season. But I, you know, the other thing too is I have several fraternity brothers, several friends in Los Angeles and family, and, very I can count on one hand out of 80 to a 100 people, of people that have a wife and children. And they just don't have what we call the nuclear family, right? It's just not prevalent.
Bryan Gonzales:And the billionaire friend that I have, he doesn't. You know? And, you know, as you get older, you realize, you know, you can't take all the money with you. Sure, it makes things easier. But, you know, at the end of the day, what really makes you happy, like you said, it's just bigger problems, a bigger form of perfectionism, what have you.
Bryan Gonzales:But gosh, I really would have I do have what's good for me is the treasured, is the family part of it because that's what it kind of becomes. Right? Because the money seems to just come and go. Mhmm. You know, it's more about my peace of mind and how do I view my wealth, Which is through health and family, right?
Bryan Gonzales:So the other thing too you're talking about We're talking about the scales I wanna address real quick is the scales of perfectionism, right? The economies of scale of it. And we talk about the identification and why it happened, but also to identify it and how to treat it when it happens, right? And stuff like that. You can do preventative maintenance things, but those don't always work.
Bryan Gonzales:So there's even spot things that I have to do. I have to look at a bank account. You know, I have to What am I gonna do, right? You've been avoiding something out of a 1000000 things. You're like that one thing.
Bryan Gonzales:You know you're avoiding it, and I still need to not avoid it, right? I have to look at everything, right? You really have because you can't solve everything. So I think it's important. And where I'm going with it was the forms of identifying it, right?
Bryan Gonzales:It would be like not looking at your bank account or continuous organization or cleaning, or charting, or, okay, I mean, pick up the phone. I mean, open Log in. You have to get there. You know what I mean? And it's interesting.
Bryan Gonzales:And so, I probably talk like, What are you talking about? Well, I mean, I think as an entrepreneur, you're always kind of You're trying to run cash then on purpose, right? And equity rich and credit high. A lot of credit utilization, right? We're trying to That's how you live, right?
Bryan Gonzales:And that, I think So that's where it's coming from. You know what I mean? Because it's a constant situation. It may not have as many zeros, but I think that when you're an entrepreneur versus an employee, it's different. Because employee has the stability and has a certain structure, right?
Bryan Gonzales:Where an entrepreneur, like let's bet it all. Should I take half the equity in my house, invest in this.
Crystal:And run on that.
Bryan Gonzales:And go for it. And then if it doesn't work, then I might have the house. I might have to get a job. No one's gonna hire me. I'm too old.
Bryan Gonzales:But there's so many things like that. So, anyways, I thought that
Eric:Well, what's interesting about that too is when you're when you're an entrepreneur, you're taking ownership over everything that you're doing. And one thing I've kinda noticed is when when you are trying to, like, do things for your for your for your own business Right. You you definitely the the perfectionism level tends to go much much higher with it, and it becomes way harder to actually act on on on, on whatever the task, might might be. I was talking to, Andrew Loewen, and he was, you know, he's a master marketer, and his hardest thing that he's had to do any kind of marketing. And he, like, gets he was telling me he's he gets, like, his mind goes goes blank on mark our marketing deliverance, his game, and and which is you know?
Eric:And it's because he's I think because he's he's he's partial to it. Yeah.
Bryan Gonzales:He's too close to it.
Eric:Exactly. And so I, you know, I think there's an aspect too of of of positioning, and I actually I've I've talked to my, podcast editor, who's amazing, Melissa, and she, she's told me me before that, like, doing her own thing, she's like, I'm like, no. Like, I can't I'm nervous about doing this or whatever. And then, like but then doing stuff stuff for us, so she's like, oh, yeah. I can do that all day.
Eric:I'm like, I'm nervous about doing that. You're okay with doing that? And, like, it's because it's it's it's, like, more personal to me, I think, because it's, you know, my my my business. It's it's on me if if it, you know, floats or sinks or whatever. Right?
Eric:And, so I think there's a there's an important aspect too that kind of I think one aspect I think help fight this perfect the perfectionism is to position people that are in your in your your circle to kind of help you fill where where where areas you might struggle in.
Bryan Gonzales:Yeah. Mhmm.
Eric:I'm I I you know, you mentioned about you work from home alone. I I I don't really work from home alone because I work work with Amber. I work with with with my wife. So I'm not I'm not we can kinda keep each other accountable, and I think that is it's I'm very grateful to kinda have that accountability partner, because it is kinda it can be very hard to work from from home because it's like, you know, you wanna you know,
Bryan Gonzales:sometimes it's like, I I just wanna watch a movie or something like that. I gotcha. You you sometimes it's like, I just wanna watch a movie or something like that. No. I gotcha.
Bryan Gonzales:You know, you brought something up, and maybe I don't am I interrupting you, Crystal, or you're good? Is that your you know, the I've owned 6 businesses. There's been 4 winners and 2 losers, and not in that order. And I think I have one right now that's a winner. But one of them, when I moved, I should say about 5, 6 years ago, I acquired this HOA Management Company, and I was able to turn around and sell to private equity in 2022, right?
Bryan Gonzales:And in my 1st couple of years, it was tough. And I set a lot of really high standards and I had owned or part owner of a huge automotive group in LA, you know, 300 employees, 6 locations, new car dealers, stuff like that. And I had all these, you know, I had 26 managers that worked for me, you know, at 6, you know, the whole thing, like these gigantic parties and conference rooms and the whole thing. And you're trying to apply that to something small. And I was like, I'm not having a good time.
Bryan Gonzales:Like I was able to redo their record keeping. I was brought in some software. I redid the image. I fired some of the cheap clients. I got some better clients.
Bryan Gonzales:And then I was like trying to attract talent and it wasn't really working. And I met some other owners. And, one lady that was an owner of Arrival 1, which we're all friends, it just said, you know, Brian, what I got to be friends with her and she goes, You know, They're trying to Like, they're not hiring you. I'm like, But it has to be like doing it Like, why can't it? But you're trying to go to some You need the talent to get to HOAs and you don't wanna get talent.
Bryan Gonzales:But the reality is like, you know, lower your standards a little bit. Like your people can never meet that standards and, you know, where's that come from? And it's like, they're not And then she knew. She goes, They're not hiring you, Brian. They're hiring a service.
Bryan Gonzales:So if I had to change a manager, that's a big deal of an HOA, right? Because there's a board and it's, oh my gosh. And that manager that worked here knew all this information and it's like a big deal, right? And it's like, well, no, it's not that big of a deal, because it's a big deal for the board of directors for a minute. But as long as you put someone in there and give them the information, it's fine.
Bryan Gonzales:But why is it a big deal to you, Brian? Like, why is it a big deal to you? Because Or if you get fired, you know, by an HOA, why is it a big deal to you? Like, so it had all these different forms and the core of it was what this lady I still know her, she's great. She goes, They're not hiring you.
Bryan Gonzales:They don't need Brian 5.0 HOA Manager Owner or whatever you call yourself, right? They just need an HOA manager. They just need a service, right? If you didn't answer the phone, if someone You get someone to answer the phone, they don't have to talk to the owner, they're gonna not hire you anyway. They might keep you anyway, right?
Bryan Gonzales:You have to trust it. So along the lines of what you were talking about, I find myself running into some new things even now and saying, I gotta put a certain standard on it. You don't. And those are things, having the joy or the curse of being in different Trying different businesses or different investments. I have to remind myself that like, hey, it's not Doesn't have to be perfect.
Bryan Gonzales:You're not Elon Musk. It's not this great idea. You know, what is your true goal? You start asking yourself, then why are you putting this perfectionism on there? You know, my true goal is really to get to a number of net net worth and maybe to stop, you know, and that's it.
Bryan Gonzales:You know what I mean? And go surfing and and traveling and stuff like that. I mean, that's kind of my goal, right? I don't know if I could do that and read, play music. And I mean, I'd like to do stuff like that, but it's not to be And so it kind of transformed because when I said I got lucky in my 30s, I was doing commercials.
Bryan Gonzales:I was the face of it. I was, you know, stuff like that, you know, doing car commercial stuff like that. So it was great, you know, but that's not what my goals are now. And
Eric:Now I don't wanna search on YouTube for some time.
Bryan Gonzales:New pre YouTube. I mean,
Eric:early 2000s. I wanna see what baby Brian looks like.
Bryan Gonzales:Well, you kinda get it though. It's not and that's when you said that, it's not my standard. It's a business. I go into the business for a certain goal and it has nothing to do with them liking Brian. It has nothing to do with leaving my mark or my initials on it.
Bryan Gonzales:It's on me because I chose to be in it, but it's not about what other people think of the business. They're not thinking of me. And I had them really make that distinction. It's not a judgment on Brian. Okay?
Bryan Gonzales:And so you don't need to put yourself out there. You don't need to perform at 5.0 level, Right? You just need to make sure that other people perform. So it really kinda delves into all these other things, but I thought, you know, when you when you were talking, you brought it up, and I wanted to speak to it.
Eric:So Well, that's an interesting kind of point you mentioned. And so I've kinda like, because I think, there is a lot a lot of times people, I I think, do hire people for the person because they like The relationship. They trust
Crystal:you know, like, and trust
Eric:them. Right. And but there might be certain industries, though, that that that that's like, you know, and and an HOA is almost you know, it's like a it's like a micro government, basically. Right? And so it's like then it might be a matter of, like, we don't care.
Eric:We just need to get done at the cheapest possible thing. I would I would imagine that's probably the mindset maybe in in there, but I think there is there is some, there is a lot of value in, like, the the the oftentimes, anyways, the person the person, like, that is behind it, but at the same time, you know, what do you think the balance of that that might be where it's like hiring the person for and and having the person behind me? That's that's why certain it's funny because, who is it, who's the top who's the who's the, marketer that oh, what is his name? I'm blanking on his name. His top marketer, did click Funnels, that guy.
Eric:What's his name, that that started Click Funnels? I'm totally blanking on. I'm blanking on
Bryan Gonzales:his name. His name, but I've taken the course.
Eric:Yeah. You know who I'm talking about. I wanna say his name.
Bryan Gonzales:A profound well, something he said has profound an effect on
Eric:me too. Interesting is is, like, he you know, because he's kind of built this his his people wanna hire him as as personal coaches, and he said, I I've I've heard he, you know, will charge, like, $150,000 for, like, 2 hours of We're
Bryan Gonzales:talking about Dean Kraziosci?
Eric:No. Oh, okay. It's not name it's not it's not Dean. I'm this is so funny. We're gonna have to maybe I can include it in.
Eric:So name will name will be in the description of this on who
Bryan Gonzales:Right. Right. No worries. We're talking about. The OG guy.
Bryan Gonzales:The OG ClickFunnel guy. I can't think of his name either.
Eric:Tongue right now. That's so funny. And but, like, with with that, you know, people hire him because they they they trust what he has to say. Even though I I would imagine most of the time, he's given this this the the same advice as most other marketers probably would, but those other guys could be doing it at a fraction fraction of the price point. Right?
Crystal:But do they trust them?
Eric:Exactly. Yeah. It's like a I think it is. So I guess it kinda it boils under, like, the the trust aspect.
Bryan Gonzales:Well, and
Crystal:I love what Brian said about the scale because I think that's true of, like, the scale of how much we're putting on the pressure of of that perfectionism. And it almost, like, makes me think, like, leaning into the scales. Like, okay. Well, what's on one end of each of the scale? Well, you guys both kind of hit what I when you guys said, I'm like, oh, that's that is really interesting.
Crystal:So I when you said, like, accountability, I'm all about, like, radical accountability. I think that's what got me out of that that state where I used to be more negative. So I think on the other end of that account radical accountability is that victimhood. And where do you lay in that, like, in that precipice? It's like, are you leaning towards operating more out of radical accountability where you're taking the control and you're like, okay.
Crystal:I'm doing this all myself. This is my pressure. I'm gonna achieve all of these goals. I'm gonna have this certain dollar amount. I mean, that is there's some value in that, but there's also you can see the people like you talked about before.
Crystal:Like, the victimhoods, those ones that are making excuses repeatedly. They aren't able to pick up the phone. They aren't able to take that one step. So it's like, essentially, what is it that's causing that, like, disruption from from either being full on negative person in their victimhood to full on radically accountable successful person. It it is a scale, and I don't feel like maybe and there might be times in our life, like you said, Brian, where maybe you're on different ends of that scale.
Bryan Gonzales:Mhmm. What
Crystal:do you think of that?
Bryan Gonzales:Well, yeah. I mean, I get it. I think that the, you know, trying to when I when I talk to elders or advisers and stuff, you know, it's more of like, you know, they look at me, and, yeah, you're smart, and you're you know, I never thought of it that way, Brian. Like, man, and then another guy goes, a lady goes, you know, quit thinking about all that, man. Is it like, are you saying that you don't wanna take that interest only loan, that high risk loan and take the risk?
Bryan Gonzales:Well, then don't and move on to the next. It's interesting, and I don't mean to belittle it, but the people that are successful that I'm talking to, they're kinda like, Okay, God, if you spend half your time really going through the math of things, then that you do kind of thinking about what could go wrong, you would be way ahead. And an example, one time my father bought this house and he bought it with an interest only loan. And it's a nice house in Long Beach, right? And I'm like, What are you doing with an interest only loan?
Bryan Gonzales:That's like your residence. Like that's the sacred place, you know? Like And he goes, Trust me, right? I mean, it's worth 5 times what it was. You probably bought it 20 years ago, worth 5 times what it was, right?
Bryan Gonzales:He's more laughing at it. That's really a reflection of what he's talking about. I don't need the equity. The equity's gonna come through the appreciation, Right? Because I'm gonna hold it and I wanna make cheaper payments on interest only.
Bryan Gonzales:It's gonna I mean, you know, okay. So I can sit here and think, Okay. Well, gosh, if it's my house, it's supposed to be residence. I've always been taught that I need to hold that sacred and don't miss a nest egg because I can get a reverse mortgage or I can or I can, you know, sell it and humble down and use that money without being taxed too much. You know, the whole the whole thing.
Bryan Gonzales:Right? It's more kind of the journey, but people don't necessarily think that way. And why am I stuck into that? I don't wanna say stuck because I don't want it to be condescending. Why am I If I'm in that mind frame and that structure, which is fine, go get a job then, you know?
Bryan Gonzales:And that's okay. You can have a job. You can be fine. You can structure
Crystal:Not everyone's meant to be an entrepreneur.
Bryan Gonzales:Right. And so, you have to battle with yourself. And it's like, well, maybe I don't wanna be. So when I told you about the career of kind of going in and out of being a C suite executive or an entrepreneur or an owner or failing at things, it's that. You know what I mean?
Bryan Gonzales:Sometimes you have to, sometimes you're like, well, maybe that's a better fit for me. And I'd be lying to you if I didn't tell you that's now. I mean, it's it's also now because you're like, well, this kind of works. Should I have sold the HOA management company? Should I have bought this business broker franchise?
Bryan Gonzales:Should I have just tried to push my law office? Should I have tried to push my real estate brokerage? You know, what are the choices that you made? Right? Should I have not sold my Bitcoin, you know Mhmm.
Bryan Gonzales:A a couple of years last year? I mean, there's so many, like right. You know? So the it it it I don't know. I don't wanna go into it, but I think that's reflective of what I'm saying now.
Bryan Gonzales:Yeah. That makes sense? Mhmm. What I'm saying?
Eric:So Yeah. So I think one of the ways to kind of, like, combat all this as well too, like, all the the the things, like, maybe I, you know, could have done better, I should have, could have, would have, what or whatever, is is is, like, writing down kind of like, okay. What are, like, what are the things that, like, that are are good in my life, positive in my life, or that I've done right? Mhmm. Writing, like, writing those those things down because I don't know.
Eric:We we we we tend to kinda wanna focus on the the negative things. That's why there's so much just negativity in the world, but, like and then negativity is gonna attract more negativity.
Bryan Gonzales:Mhmm.
Eric:And so I think writing down, like
Crystal:What you're grateful for.
Eric:What thing yeah. Things that things that that that you're grateful for, like,
Bryan Gonzales:How far you've come. Yeah.
Eric:How far yeah. How far you've actually Rather
Bryan Gonzales:than what you've accomplished. Yeah. How far you've come.
Eric:Exactly.
Bryan Gonzales:Well, I do those things. I do those things every day. Yeah. Right? You know how far you've come.
Bryan Gonzales:Yeah. I think that, I wanna say this one thing too, is that, you know, what can you do? And the thing I want to emphasize, it's so simple in some ways. And he said, look, pick up the phone, lift a finger, log in, find out what your position is, find out how to solve it. You have to do something, right?
Bryan Gonzales:So you have to like, you can think it out, you can get motivated, you can schedule it out. You can tell yourself why all day, but just pick up the glass, you know, and you'd be interesting how fast things can happen. And when you think about what I was saying from those elders, that's what they're saying. Like, get out of your head, bud, and pick up the glass because it'll work itself out. And then you get this other one that's layered on top of it.
Bryan Gonzales:How else are you supposed to get there if you don't pick up the glass? Because you can't fail if you don't try.
Eric:Mhmm.
Bryan Gonzales:Right? You only miss the shots you don't take. Right? Yeah. So
Eric:Yep. Anyway Yeah. I I think kinda kinda goes back to that. I'm sure we've all kind of heard this, the the this quote before that though the word, the worst action you can take is no action. Right?
Eric:Mhmm. And so because, I mean, essentially, if you take no action, like, you're gonna effectively stay where you're currently at. And so unless you're, like, actually truly happy with right where you're currently at, then then do then if your action is no action, then nothing's going to
Crystal:When a lot of times people don't realize both are a little uncomfortable. Growth is uncomfortable, and staying stuck is uncomfortable. But which one of those two options are you gonna choose? Right.
Eric:Right. That's true. True. Yeah. You're gonna make uncomfortable
Bryan Gonzales:for that one. Yeah.
Eric:They both kind of are. We're kind of like naturally averse to just change, even if that change is actually positive. Mhmm. I, and and, you know, I don't really know exactly why that is, but I've even I I know I've gotten senses on that where I'm kind of, like, been, you know, had, like, some kind of mental block on, like, okay. You know, I I I know I should do this, but I'm like, oh, but do I wanna do this?
Eric:Do I wanna do that or what? And
Bryan Gonzales:Or should I?
Eric:Or should I do that? Right?
Bryan Gonzales:Gonna work? Is it gonna work?
Eric:Yeah. Exactly. Is it gonna work, or I'm just gonna waste my time? You start making kind of, like, excuses even though, like, deep down, I think you probably know, like, no. I I I know I should do that.
Crystal:But that's where I love. That's where it's like, no. I am in it. And then when you take that decision and then that like you said, that energy when you make that decision and you take the action, then you can start to see it lining up in your favor.
Bryan Gonzales:Take an action to commit yourself Mhmm. To that decision. Right?
Eric:Yeah. Right. And and and I think, you know, maybe it isn't the maybe you you might discover that maybe it is the wrong direction. But, again, there's still value even in that because now you learned that that is the right
Crystal:direction. Yeah.
Eric:Right. And where if you didn't take that action, you wouldn't have even discovered that. You'd still be back at square 1. You know? So the there's in whatever action you take, you know, I I I whether it's to kind of start that business or, you know, in the context of this, maybe it's to, like, join a BNI shaft or whatever.
Eric:What are you know? Because I think that's a stepping stone where a lot of people should do that
Crystal:and maybe don't. Solopreneurs that are feeling like Brian, a little while.
Eric:In me and I chapters, all we see is the people who who did take that that that step and decided to join.
Bryan Gonzales:Well put well put, think of it think of this once. I've come over this in the last few years is that the, think of every great artist or business person, right? They all have one thing in common. They all had to take that risk. They had to step off the ledge at one point.
Bryan Gonzales:Like, it's like an entry fee. Mhmm. It's like an admission ticket. You know, Get 2 B I don't know if you've heard of ZShops. That was Bezos' first failed Oh.
Bryan Gonzales:Website for Amazon. ZShops. Yeah.com.
Eric:He's focused on the Z, I see, Amazon.
Bryan Gonzales:Zshops. Zshops, yeah. I mean, everybody has that story. If you heard about Sylvester Stallone and his story, you know, there's some great stories, but that's the common denominator. So when you're trying to juice yourself up, you know, to bet the farm.
Eric:Yeah. So Lester Salone has has a crazy he has a crazy
Bryan Gonzales:Crazy story.
Crystal:Yeah. So what would you recommend to the audience? I know you have really great morning routines. I know you have really great practices. I mean, as a mindset coach, I've heard you say some things.
Crystal:What would you tell the audience would be something that they could do to break out of the perfectionism or that could like a tip or a tool or a resource that you
Bryan Gonzales:would recommend? Well, I think on a I think perfectionism is to recognize it as a comfort zone device as a way to avoid things. Right? Because there's never perfect time for anything. And you can say never confidently in that.
Bryan Gonzales:I think that's number 1. Number 2, then it becomes more about, identifying when you're stressed, you usually go towards a perfectionist type actions, whether it's organization or it's avoidance, which is, Hey, it's not a good time for this. I need to be here and then I'll do this, right? It's really the opposite. So I would say, yeah, I think things like cold plunging, I think that meditation, I think that prayer, and I think that exercise are good ways to set the day straight and to reflect.
Bryan Gonzales:But I also think that in I think there's another tactic that I use too is the double breath. If I have a moment of stress, right, maybe you know what the double breath is. Right? So what happens?
Eric:The double breath. Got it.
Bryan Gonzales:Well, so just simple. If you have a moment of stress, because it's not so like, you know, long term, it's like I get stressed in a second. How do I get unstressed in that second? That's how with a double breath. Yeah.
Bryan Gonzales:And then most importantly, sit down and whatever is that stress, whatever that you're trying to avoid or whatever you're trying to do, just start doing it. Like just start doing things to move yourself forward because start focusing on that, get out of your own head. So I would say take action, right, and forget the analysis, right? Because we know where the analysis is going. It's going towards perfectionism, right?
Bryan Gonzales:Take the action, fail a little bit, right? If there's a lot of zeros, do some prep, do some research, but then take the action. It's a yes or no. You're either gonna do it or you don't, and then move on if you don't do it. So I would say take action and quit dwelling on why could what could go wrong.
Bryan Gonzales:Mhmm. So does that is that kinda simple? Yeah.
Eric:I haven't Fantastic. Yeah. I think that's phenomenal phenomenal, advice. And I think, you know, like, I think there's a certain level of, you know, expecting that not everything to be kind of perfect when you kinda take that step as well too and kinda being, you know, a little bit mentally prepared. Because if you're not, then something bad happens, and you're like, well, that wasn't what I expected.
Eric:Right?
Crystal:Expectations that are realistic for yourself.
Eric:Yeah. Yep. Okay. Well, this has been great, Brian. I love this conversation.
Eric:Do so if somebody wanted to get in contact with you, how would they best do that?
Bryan Gonzales:They would call me on my cell phone Mhmm. And I can give that number or they could email me. Mhmm. And, do you want me to state? Absolutely.
Bryan Gonzales:Yeah. So my cell phone is 619-777-6884. It's a Google number. Yes, I had a choice of different numbers, and I chose that one because I like the 777, right? And then my email is bgasingirl.
Bryan Gonzales:My name is not boygirl, it's Brian Gonzalez, right? So that's bgvardadfirm.com. And that's v as in Victor, erdandthewordfirm.com. And I wanna leave you with this, is that Verdad in Spanish means truth. And so when I woke up after selling that HOA company, I had decided, what am I gonna get into?
Bryan Gonzales:Because even when I was counsel or CEO of things, I'm in an adversarial You just have to say no a lot. I'm just adversarial and I just hate it. Like I became a transactional lawyer because I just I'm about peace and love. I'm about settlement. I'm about common ground, win win, stuff like that.
Bryan Gonzales:I just didn't like being adversarial. I'm a great competitor. I'm an athlete, the whole thing, but I just didn't like that in an adult sense. And so that's one of the reasons why I chose that name. And that name reflects a company or a version of my company that provides business consulting and provides legal Business legal services, right?
Bryan Gonzales:Because I wanted to do things in my life at that time where I have a 360 degree focus on things that are true, that have truth, right? And so I felt like I was missing a piece work wise a little bit, haggling with HOA or haggling with real estate or whatever. And I just didn't wanna have any of it. I just wanna be. And it sounds good, and I haven't reached that Shangri La, but that's where the verdaki firm comes from.
Bryan Gonzales:So Oh, cool. So trying to get drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Cool.
Bryan Gonzales:Cool. But thanks thanks so much for having me.
Eric:Yeah. Appreciate it. So, if you enjoyed this episode and maybe you know somebody, who who that you know is a perfectionist, they're they're struggling with their through stuff or they're through through business. They gotta have everything be perfect. This would be a phenomenal episode to share with them, because this will hopefully help them overcome that.
Eric:You know, perfectionism, I think, is a natural thing that we kinda tend to tend to come across, but this would be a good episode to share with them to help them overcome that. And with that, thanks so much for listening, and we'll see you in the next episode.
Crystal:Yep. See you then. And don't forget to log your single CEU. Thank you for joining us for the Business Boost Hour. My name is Crystal Pravette, and this is Eric Fields.
Crystal:Thank you for joining us, and don't forget to document your single CEU. See you next time.
Bryan Gonzales:See you
Eric:in the next episode.
Creators and Guests
