4. Mastering Communication for Business Growth with Julie Litchfield
How crucial is effective communication in your business endeavors? It goes beyond just speaking clearly. It's about mastering the art of conveying your message with impact. In this episode, we explore the nuances of powerful communication and why it's indispensable for your business growth. Tune in to learn how to elevate your communication skills and transform your professional interactions.
Eric Beels:Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Business Boost Hour podcast. My name is Eric Beals.
Crystal Privett:This is The Single CEU podcast. My name is Crystal Pravette, and I'm here today with Julie Litchfield.
Julie Litchfield:Hello.
Eric Beels:Hi, Julie.
Crystal Privett:How are you guys? Great. Thank you for joining us. Yeah.
Julie Litchfield:Thank you for having me.
Eric Beels:I'm so stoked to have you on this. And so, today, we wanted to talk about communication. And but before we get into that, I wanted, so tell us a little bit about yourself, like, who you are, what you do. And, I know you came up with the idea of communication. So tell us a little bit about, like, what what why you wanted to talk about that.
Eric Beels:And, but first, just gonna tell us a little bit about yourself.
Julie Litchfield:About myself? That's a loaded question.
Crystal Privett:Well, we know you're amazing.
Julie Litchfield:Well, that's so sweet. I definitely don't make myself amazing. That's it's it's who I surround myself with and whom I who I'm around all the time. But, I am a wife, a mom of 4. I am an entrepreneur.
Julie Litchfield:I'm in health, so I absolutely love everything that is that revolves around health. And for me, that was communication. Communication does revolve around health. But communication was key in my life, like, growing up. So we had a point in our family where we weren't communicating well.
Julie Litchfield:And I don't need to say my age, but it's probably pretty obvious. But back in the day, therapy wasn't something you talked about.
Eric Beels:Yeah.
Julie Litchfield:And my mom was like, no. We're gonna do this. We're gonna go to therapy, and we're gonna learn how to communicate with each other. And that's where communication became so huge in my life. We sat through therapy, the 5 of us, and then we each had individual things.
Julie Litchfield:And we would fight all the way down to therapy and laugh all the way home. And still to this day, we laugh about different things that we learned in those sessions, and it it seriously has stuck with me through my life to the point of how important it really is in every aspect of of life, in our in our spiritual life, in our marriages, in our relationships with friends, in our relationship with coworkers. It's it changes how you do life. Mhmm.
Crystal Privett:So How progressive of your mom to be forward thinking enough to to set you guys up for success mentally?
Julie Litchfield:Whenever I tell that story, that's what everybody says, and it was such a taboo thing to say. I remember I remember one time, I don't even I don't remember where we were, but it was one of my mom's friends, and she's like, you guys are in therapy? Mom's like, yep. She said, I kinda want my family to stay together. And I I remember looking at her thinking, what's the big deal?
Julie Litchfield:Like, what's the big deal about this? Like, why is why is everyone making such a big deal? Because it was really hush-hush, and you didn't talk about
Crystal Privett:it. Major stigma.
Julie Litchfield:Yeah. Yeah. So that's kind of where it started for me.
Eric Beels:Yeah. No. That that you know, I I'm kind of in a similar boat as you actually where you are kind of like, what's the the taboo aspect? And and, and because I, I'm grateful enough that I I grew up in a family where we did, like, talk about things. We never went to therapy.
Eric Beels:We didn't do anything like that, But I don't know. We we all in my family, we always, we we we actually developed a phrase at one point where and and that was to say, saying, I'm sorry, I was wrong. Would you please forgive me? And that and that has been an extremely helpful phrase that, you know, whenever anytime there was some kind of issue, getting some kind of fight or whatever, you know, you go away for 30 minutes, and then you kind of feel bad a little bit. And, you know, instead of, like, you know, stuffing it under the, you know, the your own skeleton closet or whatever, kind of go we we would always kinda go go back out to each other and then say, hey.
Eric Beels:I'm sorry. I was wrong. Would you please forgive me? I shouldn't have said that, or I shouldn't have reacted that way. And I don't know.
Eric Beels:It is I kind of grew up with that with with doing that. I don't remember exactly when we kind of started doing that. But it was a very helpful, I guess, practice of, like, humility, recognizing, you know, when you're in the wrong on on everyone's sides as well too. And just recognizing, like, okay, what did I do? And not I'm not gonna, like, pull the blame, but, like, you shouldn't have done this or you shouldn't have done that.
Eric Beels:I really appreciate if you would, you know, or whatever, which is tempting to do sometimes, but just more like, okay. What did I do wrong? Like, what what what maybe I maybe said something wrong? Or at the very least, maybe it was like, hey. I'm sorry if I hurt you.
Eric Beels:I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry I was wrong. Would you please forgive me on whatever I did? That that whatever whatever it was. I don't want you to feel bad. Right.
Eric Beels:That sort of thing. And so sometimes it's just a mini fault. Even if you don't feel like your fault you're at fault, maybe you weren't. But, so
Crystal Privett:Have you heard of the haponono? I probably butchered that.
Eric Beels:The what? What did you say?
Crystal Privett:There's there's 4 phrases that are part of this, like, big release, a way of releasing. And it's I love you, please forgive me, I'm sorry, and thank you. And your mom had 3 of the 4 phrases Okay. Within it. You probably did have thank you, but you just Yeah.
Crystal Privett:But,
Eric Beels:what were they again?
Crystal Privett:It's, I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, and Thank you. Thank you.
Eric Beels:Got it. Okay. Yeah. It's simple. Yeah.
Crystal Privett:It's very simple. Yeah.
Eric Beels:Very simple.
Crystal Privett:But there's a whole, like, guideline on how to use those, and they've shown scientifically that that process allows people to not only communicate, but to open up and and to like you said, it took a little while before your stimulus.
Eric Beels:The I love you one would be a good is a good one to add. That that one wasn't part of, like, our phrase, but that that probably should be good. Yeah. It's gonna be good.
Crystal Privett:Trying to show that you love them with
Julie Litchfield:regular communication. It's giving you tools. Mhmm. Yep. And when you're given tools, you're able to communicate even more effectively.
Julie Litchfield:Because when we're sometimes when we're left our own recognizances, we're like, we blow up at each other or we don't say things the right way. And when we're given specific tools, you you go your brain goes back to those, okay. What do I do first?
Crystal Privett:Especially those first few years.
Julie Litchfield:Start the first one out. Okay. Now I go down this path, and and that's it definitely gave me tools for the rest of my life. And, yes, have I changed the way I communicate since then? Of course.
Julie Litchfield:I was in 7th grade. But it definitely brought us to a point of being able to to pull out wherever we were at. Like, when you get so heated or when you get so hurt or when you whenever you're in that position, you can say, okay. First of all, breathe. And this is what I really meant by that.
Julie Litchfield:Like, I'm sorry. You heard me the wrong way. Yep. But this is what I really meant. And so it's
Crystal Privett:communication skills.
Julie Litchfield:It's bringing that up, and that's something that if you just choose not to communicate and, like you said, throw it into your skeleton closet, then things are just gonna build and build and build and get worse. So
Eric Beels:Yep. Yep. So how have you that was so you you kind of did all that in your personal life. So how have you applied that in business? And how, like, like, is it the same would you say it's like the same you do use this exact same process, or how what is all that?
Julie Litchfield:That's a great question. So in business, I mean, like I said, through the years, I I learned different ways to communicate. I, went through different trainings for communication actually with different businesses I've been in in my life. I've been in a lot of different businesses in my life, and, I was lucky enough to have training in different ways of being able to communicate, of reading body language, of different personality styles, and really learning that. But what what really comes down to me is is truly listening.
Julie Litchfield:A lot of communication has to do with not talking at all.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:And so many people think when you say the word communication, oh, that's a lot of talking, And I'm really good at a lot of talking. I can talk and talk and talk and talk. So I had to learn to not talk, and I had to learn to listen and not listen to reply, but listen to actually understand where the person was coming from. Listen to ask another question. And so, for example, like, in BNI, in a one to 1, I never fails a brand new one to 1 with someone.
Julie Litchfield:I'm meeting with them for the first time ever. They're a brand new member. They will say 45 minutes in, oh my gosh. I've been talking this whole time, and you haven't I'm like, no. You haven't.
Julie Litchfield:I've been asking a lot of questions. That, for me, when if we get to that point, I'm so excited. Like, that's exactly what I wanted it to be because I need this is how I learn about you. This is how I learn how I can connect with you. This is how I learn how you work Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:And how I learn where we have something in common and how I can help you, but it also is going to build trust.
Crystal Privett:Yes.
Julie Litchfield:It's gonna build rapport. It's gonna build credibility. It's gonna build what's the other word I'm looking for? I just lost it, but it's it all comes together at that point. And so it's listening not to reply, but listening to understand what the other person is saying.
Crystal Privett:It's such a great point. Like you said, people, when they hear the word communication, think of only just speaking, but active listening is really a superpower
Eric Beels:to
Crystal Privett:be able to hear where people are coming from. And I don't know about you guys, but I I feel like people are craving being seen and heard more than ever.
Julie Litchfield:Right. And you can tell that when you're in a conversation with somebody and they're so excited. You can almost see the wheels turning in their head and they're so excited to reply to you because they have a similar circumstance or they have a similar situation. There's nothing wrong with communication like that either. When we're sitting around with our friends and everyone's like, yes.
Julie Litchfield:I happened to me. Yes. I happened to me. You know? And you're having a
Eric Beels:good
Julie Litchfield:time together. That's different than it is in a professional setting. And so I think when you slow down enough to really listen to understand that person, you're you're also going to build that trust with them as well too because they're gonna get this feeling of connection with you.
Eric Beels:Mhmm. Yeah. And, you you know, a good kind of example of, like, why there's more than just, like, talking. It's a lot of, like, in how you say stuff too. Right?
Eric Beels:So, like, if you like, if I if I were to if I were to say something, like let's see. It's if I were to if I were to say what's a good example? Thinking of like a tone like a like a tonal based based example, and I'm blanking on one right now, actually.
Crystal Privett:Almost condescending, like like that kind of environment where they might not feel comfortable to open up because the way that it's being said, not necessarily how what it is being said.
Eric Beels:Right. Like like, trying to think on something like the a lot of a lot of it goes into how you say something and not necessarily what it is that's
Julie Litchfield:your
Eric Beels:task that's being said. Right. And so and basically, like, if you and and and that's a really important aspect of your your communication. I I know someone who actually, and he was saying he used to be very, like, aggressive when he would talk. And people were always, like, put off by when you say something.
Eric Beels:He's really had to, like, tone himself back because he's like a like a like a very, like, like, powerful guy sort of thing. And so after he and then
Crystal Privett:So they had
Eric Beels:to just after he, like, kind of, like, raise his voice, like, up into his chest. Normally, people are talking about, like, you know, lower to project more and stuff. But it actually in his case, it was the opposite. He had to kind of like raise it up to kind of soften everything that he was taught he was saying, because he was putting off people and people weren't like, people like didn't want to really work with him because and so it's like that little thing like, you know, it's a kind of a case of a lot of people would like to work with him, but they're like, I don't know, just not vibing well with him. I don't know.
Eric Beels:And so then that's could be lost business in that case.
Julie Litchfield:Right? Correct.
Eric Beels:And so,
Crystal Privett:The subtle nuances, the communication.
Julie Litchfield:It's the body language, it's personality styles, and and I'm I go right into, oh, he's a d personality style. Like, that's the first thing I think of because it's someone that's forceful that comes forward and they wanna get the job done and and they're excited. They're they have a genuine heart. But when you see someone backing away from you, literally, as you're speaking to them, that's a great indicator. Okay.
Julie Litchfield:Bring it down.
Crystal Privett:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:And even myself, I I can be very extroverted at times, and I can come on strong. Mhmm. I'm not a deep personality, but I can come on strong and realize this person is moving further away from me than closer, and then I start to lower my voice, get quieter, and all of a sudden, they come out more. And so you it's paying attention. It's really just paying attention to the other person, paying attention to what they're saying, paying attention to how they're acting.
Julie Litchfield:That's why it's so hard these days with text, and it used to be email. It's not really email anymore, but text and and social media. We're not able to see someone's body language as much and or how what we say affects them when we actually say it.
Eric Beels:Mhmm. And sometimes, you know, sometimes it doesn't, like, it doesn't, like, reflect that person. I know some people that are, like, feel like the most fun people and then texting, I'm just like, are you the same person? I mean, I'm more of a
Julie Litchfield:Are you upset this morning?
Eric Beels:What happens? I know. And and I think a lot of it's just a learning thing. Right? They're just not used to, you know, maybe they're just not used to communicating their own body language in text messages, which is a much harder thing to do.
Julie Litchfield:Right.
Eric Beels:And, I mean, I kind of grew up with text messages. So I think maybe the millennials and Gen Z ers are kind of maybe often a little bit more in tune with being able to do that. I don't know. But Like
Julie Litchfield:a different text are much longer.
Crystal Privett:Yeah. It's like a different form of expression almost. It is. Yeah. It is.
Julie Litchfield:And it's learned. It's because when I depending on if I'm texting with my kids, it's a very interesting text compared to Right.
Eric Beels:If you add if you if you add 3 dots at the end of something, you know something's wrong. Then it doesn't matter, like, what the words are. Before you add 3 dots, it's like, okay. What's up? Yeah.
Eric Beels:What's going on? You know? And then, if and it's it's funny because it's just 3 dots. Right? Yeah.
Eric Beels:There's a lot of communication that goes into just adding 3 dots into something on it.
Julie Litchfield:There's a lot of communication that goes into a lot on a text. Yeah.
Eric Beels:The
Crystal Privett:lack of an emoji or an emoji, the, like, the some other things. Yes.
Eric Beels:It's that's really interesting actually because it's like, suddenly you add one thing at the end, like some emoji. It's it totally switches the tone of the whole thing and totally basically changes Yes. The the meaning behind the whole
Julie Litchfield:But you're trying to communicate.
Eric Beels:Yeah. So I know sometimes because I'm I'm one to kind of add emojis and stuff too sometimes. I I think in the past, I used to kind of like overdo that and such too. So like, what what's kind of what's the threshold that like like, on this? Like, maybe maybe I guess I'm I'm thinking about, like, our our listeners here.
Eric Beels:And, like, if somebody is really kind of trying to work through this and maybe they're let's maybe going down the the text and it emails is similar. It's like the same thing. Right? What what should people look for, like, when they're when they're writing the email? What's what's maybe a stepping stone for them to kind of communicating what they're trying to communicate in the message without maybe I guess, maybe they're not maybe maybe they won't overdo it, but what would what would be a good stepping stone for them?
Julie Litchfield:Right. I think it also depends on who you're communicating with. So your style is gonna change based on who you're communicating with. If I'm communicating with, just for example, a bunch of coaches
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:Say sports coaches, I'm gonna bullet point everything. I'm gonna get right to the point. I'm gonna be clear and concise. I'm not gonna put in fluff of any sort, and I will probably put in 0 emojis.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:If I don't get their attention in the first sentence, especially for a sports coach, they're not gonna read the rest of my email.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:Their purse as personnel and I'm not trying to group in all coaches together.
Eric Beels:Game plan all
Julie Litchfield:those. I'm not trying to group in all coaches together because all there are some coaches that would probably love to read lengthy emails. They're more of the personality style of I'm gonna research and read every single thing you give me.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:But the majority that get into that business that are in that are doing that for for a job, they are more driven to the point of get to your point.
Eric Beels:Right.
Julie Litchfield:I'm loving, but get to your point.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:And so that I would probably do it way different for them than I would do it for potentially a lawyer. Yeah. If I'm writing to a lawyer and I need to get something across them, I will be extremely detailed without bullet points, and I will probably put headings at the top of different things. I probably wouldn't use emojis with them either. Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:If I was emailing a teacher, I'd probably use emojis. I would probably be more bubbly in what I'm doing depending on what what grade they're teaching
Eric Beels:Sure.
Julie Litchfield:Too. So I think it really depends on who you are talking
Crystal Privett:with. Your audience.
Julie Litchfield:You have to know your audience.
Eric Beels:You know, that I like that you brought that up because I know one so and I haven't, like, thought of it, but I realized what I do thinking on what you said on on the person when when when I receive an email because the hardest thing is when you when you receive an email from somebody you don't know. It's like a cold email that someone's reaching
Julie Litchfield:out to you. Mhmm.
Eric Beels:And I've realized what I do is I kind of reflect a little bit what their tone is. But I just kind of look at the email, and I kind of just gauge the the tone of the email, I guess, and I kind of try to respond I kind of try to match that. I don't know if that's the right thing to do, but I kind of just try to match it because I don't know the person at all. I'm like, okay. I mean, should I be more is the person like looking for somebody more bubbly necessarily?
Eric Beels:I'm not really sure. But I try to kind of match the tone. Is that the right thing to do with that?
Julie Litchfield:Or I believe it definitely is when you don't know the person. If if you respond with, you know, 10 exclamation points behind something, they haven't used any type of emotion in their email at all. They may be like, are they upset with me? They you they you could be emailing my oldest sister, which every single time for fun, I would use a bunch of because it was emailing your sister. Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:And I'd email with a bunch of exclamation points like this happened. Like, I'm excited. She goes, are you mad? I said, no.
Eric Beels:Why would
Julie Litchfield:you think I was mad? Well, you used all the exclamation points. I'm like, did you get taught in school to use an exclamation point when you're mad? Yes. Like, all the sentences were and they were upset.
Julie Litchfield:Exclamation
Crystal Privett:point. Was different.
Julie Litchfield:I said, I was taught to use it when I'm excited. So I would definitely match the person
Eric Beels:and
Julie Litchfield:match their email until you have an opportunity to get on the phone with them, until you have an opportunity to see them in person or Zoom with them, however it is that you're gonna be that you can actually ask them more questions and learn more about them to understand who they are and if they do want you to be more bubbly. But we also wanna be ourselves too. We're not gonna we need to be ourselves, but we even need to be ourselves with a little bit more extra if someone's looking for that, meaning, like, oh, can you be more bubbly? Well, this is about as bubbly as I get.
Eric Beels:And I
Julie Litchfield:will be that for you, but I'm still gonna be myself. I'm not gonna change myself for you.
Crystal Privett:Authenticity is so important.
Julie Litchfield:Yeah. Be authentically you.
Crystal Privett:Yeah. I have a question because you've been in BNI for a while now. Yes. And you were once president.
Julie Litchfield:In fact,
Crystal Privett:you were the last acting female president since I was, since I'm taking over. So what have you seen change in BNI as far as communication styles in your longevity?
Julie Litchfield:Wow. That's a good question. It's been 10 years. So definitely differences with more women being in the group. So when I first started, I think I was number 5, and our group was about 35
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:At the time. So 30 men, 5 women. The communication was very different.
Crystal Privett:Yep.
Julie Litchfield:The more women you get in a room, it's gonna change the way that everyone communicates. Funny jokes that maybe were set out in a in in the middle of it that and all of a sudden, they'd look around, they'd look to the 5 of us and see, oh, you know, it get caught. And it never I never picked up a fence by it. It's it was them learning how to react with more women coming in the group, and all of a sudden, we had 15 women in the group. And it definitely changes the way people communicate with each other.
Julie Litchfield:So if anything, that's where I've seen the major differences is when our group ebb is like an ebb and flow with the women and the men in the group and how many we have and how many we have in leadership Yeah. And how many we have in membership community, how many who's on visitor host. It it makes that's what's gonna change the communicate the communication within our group as well too and how the leadership team communicates with the group. We've had leadership teams that communicated well during our meetings, especially when we were in person every week. They they communicated very well, but then they didn't communicate outside of the group.
Julie Litchfield:So not receiving any information on things. And then we have some that maybe didn't communicate as well during the meeting, but communicated amazing, you know, through email, through other things outside of our meetings. And so those are the different ebbs and flows that you see through the years, but the biggest thing would be when we have more women or less women in our group. That's that's where I've seen major differences. Mhmm.
Eric Beels:Yeah. Yeah. The it's it's so interesting. I could I just kind of, like, thought of too, like, when I watch movies and a lot of and this when I feel like a lot of modern movies don't have this problem as much anymore, but a lot of, like, older conflict causes were just due to lack of communication between, like, the protagonists. So, like, someone gets stuck in a thing.
Eric Beels:Why? Well, because you didn't tell them of this, and you had every opportunity to do so, and you never said anything. And I've stopped watching shows that just was, like, all purely a communication issue. And I'm just like like like all the conflicts happening because there's the people that are on the same side aren't talking to each other. I'm like, this is really obvious to me.
Eric Beels:I'm just like, tell me something.
Julie Litchfield:They're showing you all the parts and where the other people aren't involved in all the parts and so you can see the break the whole time.
Eric Beels:And so and and it's so funny because, like, it the same thing could happen in business as well too at, like like, in in leadership. It's like all these issues are happening because you're just not talking. And and all these things are essentially solved by by communicating, these things. And so for me, I'm not the best at responding to text messages as much as I should be. And so it's funny because a lot of people will end up like, hey, Eric hasn't responded to, you know, and text Amber or whatever.
Eric Beels:And she's a little bit better at that than I am. It's something I'm working on. I've I've I've done some, like, reprograms before trying to you know, to kind of help help help with that. And I think one of the things is too, sometimes I never quite feel like I'm I'm ready sometimes to respond because I'm like, okay. I'm gonna start a conversation.
Eric Beels:I'm ready to talk. I'm, like, thinking of all these things, and maybe I'm thinking too much. Like going yeah. Right. Okay.
Eric Beels:I'm gonna if I send this message, then I'm gonna start a conversation. I'm not ready to start a conversation right now. And then later on, oh, it's too late. And then I basically, like, it's like excuse after excuse after excuse.
Crystal Privett:And Communication parallelization.
Eric Beels:Yeah. Kinda. Yeah. That's it's kind of what what, what what happens.
Crystal Privett:It's more common than you think. A lot of times with emails or people get too many phone calls, it's just like they don't wear
Eric Beels:it anymore. Emails. I've and it's like, am I getting, like, massively stressed out over it? And then it's like a week or 2 weeks go by, and I'm just like You
Crystal Privett:could have figured it.
Eric Beels:Like, always, like, in the back of my head, kinda just, like, poking me a little bit, and I'm just like and I'm getting stressed. And I'm like, Eric, just send the stupid email. Like, I know what I need to do.
Julie Litchfield:Mhmm.
Eric Beels:It's not sometimes it's not even complicated email. And so I guess my question on on this, do you, I mean, first, I don't know if this does does do you relate to that at all?
Julie Litchfield:I do relate to it. So first and foremost, do you have an Apple or an Android?
Eric Beels:I have an Apple.
Julie Litchfield:Okay. Get an Android because you can schedule, send texts. It's beautiful. And then you don't have to start that conversation. I do
Eric Beels:that with emails. So
Julie Litchfield:I've said to all my friends are like, everything in my house is a Mac, everything, except my phone. And everyone's like, Julie, why have you not got an Apple phone? Your whole family has an Apple phone? I said, until Apple can figure out how to so this is to Apple. Until Apple can figure out how to schedule send a text, I'm not switching over because that has saved Yeah.
Julie Litchfield:Me big time. I will start I'm not ready to have the conversation that night, but I have a lot of thoughts in my head. So I will put it out, and I'll put the text to them, and I'll schedule send it for the next morning to go. And then all of a sudden, I'll be getting ready, and I'm like, oh, oh, they sent me oh, yeah. Schedule send that.
Eric Beels:Mhmm. I mean, that's why I have the calendar thing for for, like, do it Right. For having people on this. Then Be I it'd be it'd be ridiculous trying to, you know, pour
Julie Litchfield:you into
Eric Beels:a savings.
Julie Litchfield:So But see, I don't want you to stop. This that's you. So, yes, can we be better? Can we improve ourselves? Can we fix things?
Julie Litchfield:I am the biggest procrastinator in the world. I am. And for years, I thought it was such a weakness. I would write my research papers for college the night before. I did all my research for it months before, but the actual full on paper didn't get written till the night before.
Julie Litchfield:But if I did write it 3 weeks in advance, I'd end up getting a worse grade than what I got the night before because I cut out all the fluff. Procrastination can actually be a strength, and we need to see it as that because you actually get to the point and get to what you need. So you procrastinate on emails sometimes can be a problem.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:Other times, it might be a good thing. Same thing with text messages. We are too quick to communicate. So let's say late at night, someone sends you a text, and you're like, okay. Well, I should get back to them.
Julie Litchfield:So you send that, and then all of a sudden, this long conversation starts out, and you end up saying things you probably didn't wanna say. Mhmm. So it would have been better if you would have just waited until the morning to do it or the next day or 2 days from them. But we're so quick with wanting to communicate right away with everybody because we live in such a
Crystal Privett:Instant.
Julie Litchfield:How can I say this? It is a very high communicative world that we live in right now, yet it feels like no one's communicating.
Eric Beels:Does that
Julie Litchfield:make any sense?
Eric Beels:Yeah.
Julie Litchfield:So we're
Eric Beels:Well, it's like social media. It's supposed to be social. Yeah.
Julie Litchfield:It's like concrete, black, black, black, white, and to a 1000000 things out once. Yeah. But what are we actually communicating? Because all of a sudden, it feels like we haven't talked to anybody, and we haven't actually had a real conversation, but we have sent millions of messages out to everybody.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:And so I think it's better that you do wait a little bit Mhmm. Until you do have the time to communicate and to actually say what you want to say to somebody. I don't think that's an issue.
Crystal Privett:Or communicate that you will talk to them in the morning.
Julie Litchfield:Or answer back That's
Eric Beels:that's a good one actually too.
Julie Litchfield:Answer back and say, hey. This is a, yes, we can talk about this and say, I'm already shut down for the night. I will get back to you tomorrow on this.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:There's nothing wrong with that.
Eric Beels:Yeah.
Julie Litchfield:And that's the one thing I have told my kids over and over again because they would we had the rule in our house that the phones had to be out in the kit. We don't have our phones in our bedrooms. I'm like, there's no need. Like, why do you need your phone
Eric Beels:in your room?
Julie Litchfield:You don't it's past 9 o'clock at night unless you're doing homework, you know, with a group, and it's 10 or 11, and you're still doing I'm yes. Be on your phone in your room. It's fine. Leave it out in the kitchen when you're done. You don't need it beeping at you all night long, or they felt the need to, like, respond immediately.
Julie Litchfield:I said, unless it's an emergency, you do not need to respond immediately.
Crystal Privett:It's great advice
Julie Litchfield:because sometimes we say something that we're not supposed to say when we respond immediately. It's like the old count to 10 when my mom would say I was so annoyed by that when I was little count to 10, Julie, before you make your response. You know? Because you spout out something, and she's like, you're always gonna say the wrong thing when you're
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:Upset or tired, especially when we're tired and we haven't had enough sleep or we've had a stressful day. We're gonna say the wrong thing.
Eric Beels:Mhmm. Well, also to whatever moment it's in as well too. Like, because I I I know someone Right. This kind of this kind of, like, drives me crazy because so I know a lot of people when the phone rings, it's like they're like, I gotta answer it right now. And and I'm just like, why?
Eric Beels:I was like, you don't even know who's calling sometimes. And I'm just like, okay. Just send it to voice mail or whatever. If it's someone who wants work, they'll leave a and they really want to, they'll leave a message or whatever. Right?
Eric Beels:Unless you're like a, you know, unless you're in some, like maybe I know there's certain emergency based businesses. I understand. That's different. Yeah.
Crystal Privett:You're a brain surgeon and you're on call.
Julie Litchfield:We have we we step your phone.
Eric Beels:I need brain surgery.
Julie Litchfield:We allow for grace.
Eric Beels:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And and and but, but I've always kind of felt like that was kind of an unhealthy thing because sometimes it's maybe you're having dinner with family and then someone's someone's calling.
Eric Beels:Maybe it's, you know, if it's an emergency, that's different. But if it's just like, hey. Someone has a business question or something like that, you know, or and it's not really needs to be in there right now, they're just checking to see, they'd be fine with you not answering. I've had someone that actually, I I answered and they go, oh, I wasn't expecting you to pick up. I was gonna leave a voice voicemail because they because it was maybe a weird time.
Julie Litchfield:And it was fine for me. Yeah.
Eric Beels:And it was totally fine for me to answer. And they were a bit, like, surprised, honestly. So there was an ask and that, you know, that was kind of funny
Crystal Privett:because Like a communication boundary.
Eric Beels:Yeah. They were like, they like knew that they were like, like, calling it all the time. They weren't they were like expecting me to hit no and just send it to voicemail because they just want to leave a voicemail. Yeah. And so what are I mean, there's those are I think those are probably some healthy boundaries.
Eric Beels:It's kind of like limiting those times.
Julie Litchfield:Definitely.
Eric Beels:But are there what are some other things that
Crystal Privett:Like communication tips or what you like their audience to walk away about learning about communication.
Julie Litchfield:I think the biggest thing when it comes to communication, again, going back to if you're in person with someone, talking less, learning to talk less. If you a lot of us just, like you said, wanna be heard. There's a way to be heard without talking. It's pretty amazing. And when you stop talking for a little while and really truly listen to somebody, you can walk away with so much more than if you would have been talking the whole time.
Julie Litchfield:As far as phone goes, I have a lot of things around the phone, probably because I have 4 kids, and we had to have we were, like, the worst parents on the world because we didn't get them their phones until they were 13 years old. And they had friends with phones at 10 and 9. And I'm like, first of all, you're in elementary school. You don't need a phone in elementary school. Who are you gonna call?
Julie Litchfield:You're not. It's me or dad. You know? So it's not gonna happen. But like I said, we live in a world right now where where someone does have their phone with them.
Julie Litchfield:Yes. If they're a brain surgeon, please have their phone with you if you're on call. We want you to answer your phone. But how do you feel when someone comes to the dinner table with you and pass their phone? It's for me, it's not a good feeling.
Eric Beels:Mhmm. I don't
Julie Litchfield:think they're gonna communicate with me well. I have gone to business lunches or I've gone to lunch with a friend, and I've said point blank, you know, no one's gonna be calling me because he's getting done with sports, and he we we got messed up with our driving tonight or whatever. I'm gonna put my phone down, but if it rings, I'm telling you now I'm gonna have to answer it. Other than that, I'm not gonna put bring my phone out of my purse. I'm gonna leave it in my purse.
Julie Litchfield:I don't like it even if someone turns it over. Well, I'm turning it over, but it's still there, and you can still answer it. And that's the thing is, you know, answering the phone right away when someone calls, unless it's an emergency, that's what voice mail is for. Right. And most of the time, if we looked at a phone you know, most time, if it is an emergency, they call back again and again and again.
Julie Litchfield:So if my phone's in my person, I can feel it vibrating 3 and 4 and 5 times. I'm like, oh, okay. There's something going on. I probably should check to see what's happening. But it's it's really paying attention to the person sitting in front of you.
Julie Litchfield:And if you are planning to communicate with the person sitting in front of you, then don't have any distractions. Don't have anything else around you that's gonna take you away from them because part of communication is building that trust
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:Building that goodwill with them, building a relationship with them.
Eric Beels:Mhmm. And
Julie Litchfield:if you can't build a relationship and pay attention to this and pay attention to that and pay attention to them Mhmm. All at the same time.
Eric Beels:Right. Right. And what and and if you don't do those things, like, what they're they're probably not gonna hire you. You know? Right.
Eric Beels:Right? So so
Julie Litchfield:Right.
Eric Beels:Gonna time that kind of those aspects back to the business aspects of things. Like, you if you're having a meeting with someone and then you get a call, what does that kinda tell to that person? Especially if it's, like, you know, especially if it's maybe it's it's probably maybe not the first meeting or whatever if you feel comfortable enough answering a phone call in front of, like, somebody else. But then if, like, you know, but even if it's, like, the second or third meeting, like, you still have a business relationship with them, and they're gonna be like, what? I'm I'm trying to, like, you know, work with this person and such too.
Eric Beels:Right? They're not gonna they're they're they're they're gonna lose that lack of trust in you.
Julie Litchfield:Because your mind's in a a 1000000 different places.
Eric Beels:Right.
Julie Litchfield:There is and I'm probably going to get in so much trouble for this. There's no such thing as multitasking. I know growing up, we were taught to multitask, especially as moms. I thought multitask. You can do this.
Julie Litchfield:You can do all these things at once.
Eric Beels:That isn't true?
Julie Litchfield:So First thing ever. Because you're giving 20% to this, 20% to this, 20% to this. You're not, like again, you're not giving a 100% of your time to the person sitting in front of you. And it does. It it is telling the other person, wow.
Julie Litchfield:So I'm spending money with you, or I'm putting my trust in your company, in your what you do to help me
Crystal Privett:And you're showing up for someone else.
Julie Litchfield:And you're showing up for someone else that's also paying you, potentially, but then you're not giving that person undivided attention either because you've got the
Eric Beels:other person either person justice.
Julie Litchfield:You're not doing either person justice at that point. So It's
Eric Beels:all, like, losing, basically. There's no winning with that. You're not like, oh, 2 birds with 1 stone sort of thing.
Julie Litchfield:I can
Eric Beels:take you know? No. Mhmm. Yeah.
Julie Litchfield:So no more multitasking. Mhmm. Yeah.
Crystal Privett:I love what you said about communication as well as, like, listening to someone and, you know, like, a one to one really letting them have have their Yes. Story and have their moment. Because what people oftentimes will walk away in these conversations from their walk away is not necessarily how much I got out, but, like, wow. I got to tell that story that I haven't told someone in 12 years, or she listened to me enough to where I could open up to explain something that maybe I didn't explain to anyone. So, really, the walking away part for the other person about being heard, I think that's so invaluable in business.
Crystal Privett:It's It's huge. I know you excel at that because people do feel comfortable around you and as, in your health, practice as well as just, you know, being a part of BNI and knowing that if there's an issue, they can oftentimes come to you to communicate things because they know you're a great sounding board because you'll listen, but also give authentic advice.
Julie Litchfield:Yes. That helps. The empathy is my number one strength. But, again, I used to think that was a weakness too growing up because I didn't understand how to use it the right way.
Eric Beels:Empathy?
Julie Litchfield:Empathy. But you don't have to have empathy to be a good listener. You can anybody can train in being a good listener and understand how to ask the next question.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:And it's typically based off of whatever they're telling you at that point. You're trying to understand what they're telling you, and you can easily identify another question to ask. Mhmm.
Eric Beels:Well, how
Julie Litchfield:did that go for you, and where did you go from there? Mhmm. And then did you move from there? I mean, it's very simple for us to continue asking questions where they think that we're doing a lot of talking because we're doing asking a lot of questions. And in the end, like I said, 45 minutes, you know, we typically do an hour for a 1 to 1.
Julie Litchfield:Right? 45 minutes go by, and they will say and that's my favorite part. Like I said before, when they say, you have I haven't learned anything about you yet. And I said, that's okay. That's we can do it in another one to 1.
Julie Litchfield:Mhmm. And it's it's exactly that. They walk away feeling heard. They walk away feeling like, wow, she's really getting to know me. Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:Because guess what? You're gonna get to know me at some point. I'm not worried about that part of it, and it's gonna come back to me too. You know? So it's it's Givers gain in action.
Julie Litchfield:Givers gain in action. Yeah. Givers gain in action. It's it's also showing them how to do a one to one in the beginning because a lot of times people right away get in. Well, this is what I do for business, and this is how it goes.
Julie Litchfield:And trying to sound as nice as possible. And I don't wanna pick a profession that we have in our in our group right now. We don't have a CPA right now. So if I know I'm not saying I know what a CPA does. My sister's a CPA, so I I can kinda say I know what they do.
Julie Litchfield:But I wanna know about them. Mhmm. I wanna learn about who they are. What makes them tick? Like, yes, I wanna learn about their business, and I wanna learn about their sphere, and I wanna learn about all these things.
Julie Litchfield:And that can be in our second and our third one to 1. That can be in the commercials. I will learn that in your 30 seconds as well. We'll teach you how to be really specific. Mhmm.
Crystal Privett:Great.
Julie Litchfield:But we we we can learn that then, but I don't get to learn about who you are in 30 seconds.
Eric Beels:Mhmm. Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:So tell me about who you are in our one to 1 because once you tell me about who you are, I can figure you out to understand what kind of clients you want. Even though it might be a I may go into a one to 1 thinking, we have nothing in common. I've gone into I don't can't even count anymore how many one to ones I think I have nothing in common with them, and I have to laugh about it before. I'm like, oh, I know there's gonna be something great. When I think I have nothing in common with someone, once I ask a bunch of questions, bam, we have, like, more connection than someone else that I would think Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:That we have everything in common with.
Crystal Privett:That's always so neat to see the human aspect of where we can relate some level with anybody if we try
Julie Litchfield:to help. Anybody. So
Eric Beels:I've been in situations where I'll be in like a one to 1, and it's just super awkward. And I'm sure everyone can kind of relate to be kind of being in this. And it's weird because I sometimes I can't quite figure out why I'm like, there's certain animals. I don't know. I just get along with some other people better than others.
Eric Beels:And and so what are some what do you do you have any like, strategies or tips to kind of like make a conversation not like if it's going down the awkward route a little bit, and then it's just that you're just like, okay. You know, some first
Crystal Privett:thought real real world stuff.
Julie Litchfield:It is.
Eric Beels:Trying to ask some questions maybe, and then they're giving you, like, like, the sort of response possible, or or, you know, it's just awkward in some way. What are do you have any help, you know, tips to kind of work through that? Or and and I don't know. Make maybe they're maybe it's awkward because they feel uncomfortable, which is making me feel uncomfortable comfortable because I'm a I'm a little higher on the empathy. I've taken, like, the strength behind
Julie Litchfield:your desk. You feel.
Eric Beels:Empathy is, like, my number my number 2, and, and which is different from sympathy, by the way. It is. And
Julie Litchfield:A 100% different than sympathy.
Eric Beels:Yeah. And, I have kind of my own definition. I'd like to know your definitions on on those 2 as well. But, so what are some ways that that you found if if someone's if you're having trouble communicating with somebody, what does that
Julie Litchfield:look like? If my questions are falling to deaf or, like, it's like, okay. There's nothing
Crystal Privett:The questions would be number 1.
Julie Litchfield:Right. And so always starting with questions, you know, and if and if they're one word answers, like, okay. We're not getting anywhere today. For starters, I'm gonna give grace first. They could be having a bad day.
Julie Litchfield:This is maybe not their real personality. And if it is their real personality, then I've gotta figure out how to work with them. And that's okay. So I might go straight to, hey. You know, it's it sounds like it might be a busy day for you because if someone's giving me one word answers, they're they're they're in a hurry, and that's what I feel like.
Julie Litchfield:If it's quick and they're fast, I'm like, they're in a hurry. I'm like, hey. It might be a busy day for you. Maybe we can schedule another one to 1, but tell me, you know, what is who do you need most right now? What do I need to be looking for?
Julie Litchfield:What I might know somebody in this business. You know? Would this help you? So I go straight to business at that point. If this person doesn't wanna be on with me much longer, though that's what it feels like, sometimes they can switch.
Julie Litchfield:Oh, no. No. I've got time today for you. And I've had it where it switches gears, and they open up and they become a little bit more warm and a little bit but then I've had other days, like, yeah. That'd be great.
Julie Litchfield:They were in a hurry, And it's just I've gotta give grace first because I don't know what's going on
Eric Beels:in their 4 walls.
Julie Litchfield:And I like
Eric Beels:that's really good because, like, you know, especially if it's like a first meeting, you don't really know. And sometimes it's easy to be like, what a what a weird person or whatever. Baseline.
Crystal Privett:Yeah.
Eric Beels:You don't have a basics. You don't know that. If you know them, then you're like, okay. Clearly, you're having an off day because you know them. You know what they norm are normally normally like.
Eric Beels:And but I like I like when I'm putting one thing I'm kind of just noticing is like, there's a lot of like, really simple solutions to to to this, like, just straight up calling the elephant out in the room, like you just mentioned. Yep. And just going, hey, it seems like, you know, I'm getting a sense that you you're have have
Julie Litchfield:A full day.
Eric Beels:A full day. Like, do you wanna would you like to reschedule? And they might be like, actually, I do have a full day. Yes. Yeah.
Eric Beels:Let's do that. Thank you. You know, that sort of thing. So I think that can that come across as being, I don't know, like like like, oh, what? You don't like my personality?
Julie Litchfield:Like, you
Eric Beels:know what I mean? I feel like that could really turn to go south really quickly.
Julie Litchfield:If you do it with a smile on your face, if you do everything with a smile on your face, like, don't put someone down with don't ever put anyone down. But if you do it with a smile on your face, majority of the time, it's not gonna go the wrong way. Hey. You know, I know what it's like. I'm in you know, I'm busy too.
Julie Litchfield:I don't I want us to have a great one to 1, and a lot of time, it gives them breath. It gives them, thank you. Thank you for noticing.
Eric Beels:Mhmm. Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:And I should have said you know, and it's turned into things sometimes where I should have said something. I got overbooked today. I'm like, it's no worries. It's fine. This is we can book another one.
Eric Beels:It's not
Julie Litchfield:a big deal. Mhmm. If it happens the second, 3rd, and 4th time, then I'm gonna say, okay. Come on.
Crystal Privett:You know? Pattern here.
Julie Litchfield:We got a pattern here then.
Eric Beels:We need to work on your organization skills or whatever.
Julie Litchfield:Yeah. Let's work on some white space in your calendar. But most of the time, if you do it with a smile on your face, if you do it from a point of, hey. I I feel you. I know what it's like.
Julie Litchfield:Like, if it's if you have a really full day, we can do something different. It's it's bringing it's bringing you guys together in the point of you're not out here by yourself. Like, I understand. I understand where you're coming from. It's not like, oh, you must be too busy for me.
Julie Litchfield:I'm not saying it that way. Mhmm.
Crystal Privett:I I love that because it opens up. It's like you're giving them permission to communicate their truth.
Julie Litchfield:Giving them permission to be transparent. Mhmm. It's okay. I'd rather you be transparent with me. I'd rather you be I got on the phone with one of our members the other day, and the first thing they said was, I got 2 calls a day.
Julie Litchfield:I was unexpected. I was so looking forward to our 1 to 1 today. Can we at least talk for, like, 15 minutes? Yep. That's awesome.
Julie Litchfield:Let me call you instead because we were Zooming. And I said, there's no reason to Zoom. Let's just talk on the phone. Like, fine too. Oh my gosh.
Julie Litchfield:Thank you so much. And then we booked another 1 to 1 on another day.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:But just be transparent. That's, again, going back to be authentically you as well too. But if we are not transparent with each other, then we aren't gonna build strong relationships. We aren't gonna communicate effectively with each other.
Crystal Privett:But, also, look. That person could have gone into a negative spiral the rest of the day. And because that communication was concise, now you both got to go on and both benefited from the rest of the day. You got, either some time or
Julie Litchfield:some time. I got some time back, and I got some more things done. Great. It's and I don't take that as a negative. So Mhmm.
Eric Beels:Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So, what was I gonna say? I was gonna I had a question in my my mind, but I kind
Julie Litchfield:of I got a great question. It was
Crystal Privett:something that you just mentioned. You said empathy is kind of your superpower, and Eric was gonna have
Julie Litchfield:his number 2 super power.
Crystal Privett:Yes. Empathy and empathy and, sympathy. Do you wanna,
Julie Litchfield:I love that empathy is number 2 for you, and I love that you took strength finders.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:What I love about strength finders is that it's different for every single person. Mhmm. So even though he and I both have empathy, because mine falls as number 1, his falls as number 2, even if ours both fell as number 1, it would have a completely different report for him based off his other strengths
Eric Beels:than
Julie Litchfield:it does for mine. Mhmm. And so empathy for every just like any strength you have is so unique to you. So just because you and I both have empathy, we may use it differently.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:But empathy empathy is is taking on the feelings of others. Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone. Sympathy is you are you are going in. You're same sitting with them. You're you're going through the pains with them, but empathy is literally taking on how someone else is feeling.
Julie Litchfield:I can walk into a room full of joy and happy and energetic, and within seconds, feel sad, feel upset, or feel tense, and I'm like, okay.
Crystal Privett:Who is it?
Julie Litchfield:What's going on around here? And I and I years ago, it was I saw it like I said, I saw it as a weakness. And and empathy is also when people know that people can can feel that you feel, so they come to you quick.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:They come to you quick for everything and think that you'll have answers as well too, which then all of a sudden you can go down a spiral in your life thinking, well, now I have to have answers for things.
Eric Beels:So what's funny about that is I I I will often have a lot of people, like, open up to me. Yes. The funny thing is is my sympathy is I don't have a ton of sympathy. And so, oftentimes, a lot of people are I'm just kinda like, okay. I'm sorry you're going through that.
Eric Beels:And sometimes I've gotten people's love love like, people are more compassionate. And I'm just like, I don't know. It's not, you know, it's not it's not my it's not my thing. Like, I But that's beautiful.
Julie Litchfield:That's why empathy and sympathy aren't the same. Sorry. Say that again.
Eric Beels:That's why
Julie Litchfield:empathy and sympathy aren't the same.
Eric Beels:Right.
Julie Litchfield:They can't Yeah. They don't coexist sometimes.
Eric Beels:But the the advantage though that I found with with with with, for my empathy is that, like, if something's kind of wrong, I kinda tune into something's wrong, like, right away. I've gotten so many times where like, I'm actually talking with somebody and I'm just like, and I'll tell like Amber afterwards. I'm like, you know, something about that conversation. I like, I don't know, but this person, like, I've learned to really kind of follow my my gut on these things when I get this, like, bad sense about something Mhmm. To follow that because it it almost, like, on cue, like, a few months later, I I learned something else and then, like, about that person, like Right.
Eric Beels:Okay. Maybe that's why that there's something happened with that person now, and then now it's it's felt it's, you know, not something I wanna be, like, associated with that person now. And and I don't know, like, I know everyone's maybe not maybe not be able to have that sense if they're not higher on the empathy side of side of things. But for for me, I've I've kind of learned to really kind of get in tune with that even it makes I'm a very logical person, and it usually makes no logical sense. And so I've just learned, I was like, well, it's worked in the past, so I'm just gonna kinda follow it even though it it everything seems like it it it I we should do this thing, x y z.
Eric Beels:But Always listen to the intuition. Yeah.
Julie Litchfield:It's like the gut punch
Crystal Privett:you do.
Julie Litchfield:Yeah. Yeah. And you walk away, and you have to have that discernment of, is it just because it didn't go well or I'm nervous or you know, you have to really, like, sit back and really, like, look at the big picture of things. Mhmm. But you need to follow that too because I've done it where somebody has wanted me to do business with them.
Julie Litchfield:Like, let's just do this. It's gonna be great. And I'm like, I just I'm like, hey. Well, Julie, you don't love change. You don't always love change, but it's so good for you.
Julie Litchfield:Mhmm. And sometimes you have to get uncomfortable to change and to move and to go on the right direction.
Crystal Privett:Not the right fit.
Julie Litchfield:But sometimes it's not the right fit. And I have pushed the door open, or I have gone into something that I'm not supposed to go into, and I've learned from it, hopefully, and not gonna repeat that in the future. But it always goes back to, I knew it. I felt it the first second. Why did I not follow that?
Julie Litchfield:But that is that is empathy. That is also knowing and feeling things as you and most people have a sense of that. Mhmm.
Crystal Privett:Well, everybody does. There's actually a part inside of us called the thalamic gate, and and it's a like a little antenna in our brain, and it, detects frequency and oscillation. So you actually do have a sense of the vibration of a person before you even see them or feel them. Your body knows the, the frequency. We can't see it, but energetically, we we can feel it.
Julie Litchfield:Mhmm. So good. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Crystal Privett:It's very important to follow those in like you said, 6 months later, 9 months later, you'll probably be able to see why. But if we don't follow that, I feel like as business people, we definitely need to follow our intuition.
Julie Litchfield:Okay to say no. It's okay to say no. I, you know, I don't think I'm a good fit for you. It's better to say that, or I don't think this is a good fit for my business right now, or I don't think this is a great way for me to go whatever you wanna say. It is okay to say no.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:Even if it might hurt someone's feelings in that time because they really thought this was gonna be a good thing, I've said no to people that come to me and want help. And once we go through everything and once we meet and once we do a call together and I know. I just I've been down this road. I've had a client like this before, and I'm not a good fit for them because I won't give them what they want. And so it's better for me to say no and lose a client and lose money versus say yes to them, and I'm never gonna make them happy Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:To the point they're gonna ask me for their money back at some point.
Eric Beels:Right. Right.
Julie Litchfield:So I'd rather say no now and potentially upset them and potentially I don't know. Maybe they won't talk to me again. I don't know. But
Eric Beels:So how do you say no to a client like that then? You know, where where it's where it's kind of like because what I'm kinda saying is is, like, it's not gonna work because we're just not vibing well. Like, you know what I mean? That's kinda what it sounds like. How do you say that?
Julie Litchfield:Sometimes I wish I could say that.
Eric Beels:But Yeah. Sometimes you might wish to, but it's, like, you know, it might be like, well, she's a jerk or whatever. Right?
Julie Litchfield:I would because I ask so many questions in the beginning. So I ask a lot of questions when I'm just having a regular one to one with someone, but I ask a ton of questions to people that are meeting with me professionally. And I will always say, if if I if it comes down to it and I can just I know what they want, I I can't offer them, and I won't because it's just not something I'll do. I'm not gonna do something nice. If I say this is how I do things, I'm not gonna change it up for this one person because that's what they want, and that's how they want it done.
Julie Litchfield:I would just say based on the answers you've given me, based on I would pull out ex examples based on this, this, this, and this. I I am not a good fit for you because I'm not gonna be able to give you oh, yes. I know you like, I've had a few yes. It'll be great. I'm like, can I just give you a scenario?
Julie Litchfield:I would give them a scenario. Look. If this happens and then this happens and I'm gonna tell you x, y, z, you're not gonna be happy because you want this done in 30 days, and that's not doable.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:It is, but not the way I do it.
Eric Beels:Got it.
Crystal Privett:So for our audience, saying no to someone else can be saying yes to yourself.
Julie Litchfield:Saying yes to yourself and yes to another potential client that would come in that would take the space of that one that you would have had to say no to.
Crystal Privett:A better fit.
Julie Litchfield:That would be a better fit.
Eric Beels:That's true. Keeping yourself kind of open to a better opportunity Yes. Than taking this, like, mediocre opportunity.
Crystal Privett:More in alignment.
Eric Beels:Right.
Julie Litchfield:Uh-huh. More in alignment. There you go. Switching your mindset. Yep.
Julie Litchfield:Yeah.
Eric Beels:Yeah. Well, this has been been really good. This is a the there's an aspect where I I do some of these things. I need to work on the text the the a lot of the texting stuff. Maybe I need to get an Android.
Eric Beels:That's a little hard because I've been iPhone for, like, ever.
Julie Litchfield:A lot. Then you need to ask Apple to.
Eric Beels:I need to do yeah. Rather just Apple make a scheduler or something on the on the text message because it's that's
Julie Litchfield:I'm sure there's an app for it. I just not haven't found it.
Eric Beels:Not the messaging app, though, unfortunately. I wish. No. So, how do you, how do you serve people on a on a, you know, on a business level? Like, what do you what do you do?
Eric Beels:And I'd like to kind of just kind of wrap up with how you serve how do you help people? How do you serve people?
Julie Litchfield:What do I do for a living? Mhmm. I'm a nutrition coach.
Eric Beels:K.
Julie Litchfield:So I help people balance their carbs, proteins, and fats for a day and learn how to eat real food and learn how to cook for themselves and learn how to live life and still enjoy life and still splurge and still have fun and not hate being healthy.
Eric Beels:So you're working with people, like, consistently, oftentimes, or you're you're kinda in communication with them a lot. So that so that communication is exceptionally important for for someone in your position. Yeah.
Julie Litchfield:If I'm not communicating with them, if they're and that's one thing that we laid down in the beginning. I said, I only know as much as you tell me.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:And that's why I'm gonna base everything I'm gonna tell you respond with back to you. If you don't tell me something, the same thing is when you go to the doctor.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:And you it's like you almost want, like, a magic genie from you. Well, they should know if I buy my blood test. No. You it would be helpful if you told them how you were feeling.
Eric Beels:Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:It'd be helpful if you told your doctor, I have pain here. A blood test isn't gonna show pain there most of the time, but it'd be helpful if you told them that. Same thing when someone comes to me. If they don't communicate with me a lot and let me know what's going on, then I can only tell them what they're telling me. I can only respond with what they're telling me.
Julie Litchfield:So I lay that foundation down in the beginning. I'm gonna be asking you questions. I'm gonna be following up with you. If you choose not to follow-up with me, if you choose not to respond, I can only help as much as I can help. Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:Mhmm. So I try to lay that foundation in the beginning. I've had clients in the past that are wonderful with that, and I've had clients that I've had to sort of help them get better at it. Throughout.
Eric Beels:Have you found there's certain, like, red flags that you kinda look for people? Because I I may I imagine there might be other coaches listening on, you know, how to for them to just be a better coach. And this is probably to all all sorts of coaching industries as well too. There's a red flags that are like
Julie Litchfield:There's a lot of red flags. So it for example, if someone really wants to make a change in their life, really wants to get healthy, but I have no time. Well, we have to find time. Mhmm. So where can we find time?
Julie Litchfield:What can we cut out? Is there one show we can cut out? Do you watch TV? No. I don't even watch TV.
Julie Litchfield:Okay. So it's like working through where in where in your life can because, for for example, if someone's an entrepreneur and they own their own business and they can't cut back on their business because they own their own business and they're really busy, we know a lot of people like that. Right? Mhmm. They are going, going, going, going, going.
Julie Litchfield:Well, your business isn't gonna run if you're not okay. If you're not healthy, if you don't if you don't take care of you at some point or another, your your business is gonna fail because your business runs off of you. Mhmm. So let's make you healthy. Let's find time for you.
Julie Litchfield:So it's it's working with people, and so that's a that's a big red flag where they wanna be healthy. They want they want this, want it, want it, but they don't wanna make time for it. Mhmm.
Crystal Privett:But even for super busy people, you do have resources, and you can make it work for
Julie Litchfield:You can make
Crystal Privett:it work. I know that you've worked with very busy people within our chapter, and
Julie Litchfield:Yes.
Crystal Privett:You still have products that they can use that will give them more energy and so more clarity so they can get through that. Mhmm.
Julie Litchfield:But it's important to find the time for you.
Crystal Privett:Mhmm. And
Julie Litchfield:if you don't, other things in life are gonna start to fail.
Crystal Privett:That balance.
Julie Litchfield:So let's health is it is so important to find our health so that we can live longer. We can do things longer. We have more energy longer. We can be nice to the people around us. Yep.
Julie Litchfield:Yep.
Eric Beels:Yep. Well, so, Julie, if if someone listening wanted to get in contact with you, they like love how how great of a communicator you are or whatever it is, and they know that you'll you'll, tell them if it's a good fit clearly.
Julie Litchfield:Yes. Yes. Yes.
Eric Beels:How would someone would someone get in contact
Julie Litchfield:with you? My phone number is the best possible way, and you're gonna laugh at that because I know social media is huge communication, and I have paired away from it in the last year. So I would say my phone number is the best way to get ahold of me at this point.
Eric Beels:Mhmm. And what's your phone number?
Julie Litchfield:Do you want me to give it? 619-994-7471.
Crystal Privett:So reach out to Julie if you're interested in improving your health. Thank you.
Eric Beels:Alright. Thanks so much, Julie.
Julie Litchfield:Thank you for having me. It was fun.
Eric Beels:And so if someone listening, if you you hear this episode and you know someone who is just kind of I'm sure everyone I'm sure most people listening are going to think of that person. They're like, yeah, this person never getting back getting back to me. Maybe forward them to this this episode and send send a link to them and, you know, and see if, hopefully hopefully, they'll listen to it, and hopefully, they'll learn something from it. So thanks so much for listening, guys.
Crystal Privett:Tune in next time. Thank you for joining us for the Business Boost Hour. My name is Crystal Pravette, and this is Eric Fields. Thank you for joining us, and don't forget to document your single CEU. See you next time.
Eric Beels:See you in the next episode.
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